Judge Dredd

It may be cheating, but I actually hand wrote this post while I am waiting at the dealership for a standard oil change. Male blasphemy you say? True, but its free for a year with my new (used) car and they have tasty hot beverages in the service department lounge. So consider me happily emasculated.
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At the dealership, this takes about 45 minutes for a 15 minute job, but as a card carrying member of the "Fuck me, I work in the service industry" society, I understand why this is, and happily keep my "cool" while I enjoy some coffee and the sideways glances of senior citizens at the the hole in the crotch of my jeans.
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Since we are here, lets go around the room overly-judgemental style, yes?
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-The Receptionist is wearing short black shorts with long thick grey tights underneath, and knee high black leather stiletto boots. She is also wearing a deep v-neck long sleeve shirt, but a scarf to cover her neck. Her teeth are bleached, but the spaces between the teeth say 2 packs a day. I would be willing to bet the price of a transmission fluid flush that her coat is one of those mini jacket numbers that comes down to just under her boobs, but has a gigantic hood with the fake fur trim. She's 38 going on 23 in her mind.
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-There is a husky guy in his mid 50's sitting across from me who has an un-naturally red face and bald head. I wonder what his blood pressure is? He looks like a pot roast dinner and 3 egg omelet breakfast kind of guy.
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-A man who looks like recently retired high school janitor is talking the ear off of the receptionist. I avoided this disaster earlier when I went up for coffee and he was standing there looking very very lost and searching for my eye contact. I grabbed a cup and ran out of there shielding my eyes from his. I can spot a pesterer from a mile away and all it takes is eye contact to ruin the next 15 minutes of your life.
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-This is funny because I was just discussing him yesterday, but there is a man in the corner who looks like a short version of John Malkavich. He is laid back in his chair trying desperately to stay awake, but he is doing the extended blink of death. Each blink keeping his eyes closed longer and longer. He must not have partaken in the array of hot beverages.
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-A girl in her early 20's just came in. She is dressed in new employee corporate attire. She's still trying hard with her pinstriped black pants, pressed and creased. Super shiny low heels with decorative buckle. Probably 200 bucks a piece, matched with a 100 dollar winter coat. I'm on to you Missy, you can't hide the insecurity in your face. She probably set aside 2.5 hours for this 45 min service appointment and has been stressing out about it for a week and still is a little stressed. Her counter language says "please don't ruin my day" and now she is gripping her magazine like hungry badger.......a hungry badger that likes to eat magazines. Extra points for a hounds tooth purse though.
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-Oh goody! Blue tooth guy just burst through the door. Hi Blue tooth guy! Tell me something. Have you ever tried using 2 blue tooths for each ear? That way you can take orders from your wife that doesn't respect you or your personal time at the same time as you berate the company idiot by over-managing and over-organizing to make yourself feel smart and important.
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That's enough people watching for now. I always end up getting carried away with overly mean comments. That one of the nasty side effects from religiously reading sites like The Superfish......
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(6 minutes passes)
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Ugh, Overwhelmed Corporate Girl just ripped open a perfume sample in her magazine and it made me pass out. I think it also may have killed all the bugs in the room and woken up Bizarro Malkavich because now he is gone. Extra hounds tooth points REVOKED!
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Holy Moley! High Blood Pressure guy just let out about 10 seconds worth of hacking coughs which made him turn a scary shade of purple. Where is the AED in this place?

ALBUM REVIEWS
22-Quiet Village "Silent Movie": I wasn't paying close enough attention and this album should probably be just under Flying Lotus in the "Really good, but an instrumentals album" section. A mistake in that I am trying to make this list less personal and more critical towards getting it right for the common person, but when you are reorganizing the list over and over, stuff like this happens. This album is a little more conventional than Flying Lotus and has a really good oldies groove to it. I really dig the way it captures its own title in that the songs almost sound like background tracks to cool movies from the 50's and 60's mixed with some new age techniques. A very interesting head phones album. YOu may really like it, or completely tune it out depending on your ear for musical appreciation. "Circus of Horror" is my favorite.

21-Beck "Modern Guilt": I am of the camp that Beck is a musical genius and he is one of my favorite artists. He can make a song for just about any genre, he is that good. I have never seen him live, but I have heard he loses his edge a little bit. Which is okay, because his effectiveness is in his nuances that don't translate well in a large live show. At first, I thought this album was kind of a dud. But the more I listened to it, the more I began to really like it. There is some really good stuff on here and it is pretty strong the whole way through, albeit a short album with about a 50 min run time. If you really like Beck (such as consider Sea Change a really good album of his) buy this album and eventually you will be glad you did. If you don't like Beck....move on, nothing to see here. The title track "Modern Guilt" is my favorite.

20-Q-Tip "The Renaissance": Hey! A rap Album! I know, I bet you all were thinking I didn't listen to much rap, but I do. This is a great album by a rap legend (formerly of A Tribe Called Quest). The hip hop stars should pay attention because the most important thing about a good rap album is the lyrics. THE LYRICS and Delivery. Therefore, they have to be easily understandable and not many can do this as well as Q-Tip. His voice is as clear as a bell. If you think about most of the long lasting rap artists, they rap clearly. This is a fun car-riding album and you don't have to worry if there are any school children in the car with you. Nothing special or trendy, just good solid simple beats and Q-tip doing his thing. Probably the most can't miss like able album I have given so far.

19-Coldplay "Viva la Vida": I like the music, I hate Chris Martin. So its pretty good music if I am willing to bypass this discrepancy. Maybe it has something to do with the Brian Eno production. It's definitely a little different than their past albums and has a little more extra electronic pizazz to it. It's also a little cheesy, but its good from start to finish and is on par with the other albums from this band. It kicks off well with "Life in Technicolor" and I think that the title track may be my least favorite on this album. I would also like to subtract some points for 2 versions of "Lovers in Japan" and "Lost". Save it for the re-mix guys. But its all enjoyable for pop music and maybe had a shot at being top 15 with out a d-bag lead singer and 1-2 more original tracks. My favorite track is "Yes"

18-Deerhunter "Microcastle": Alright, I don't know how to explain this, but I went from hating Deerhunter to really really liking it. I have a sneaky suspicion that Pitchfork may make this their #1 album of the year. A little history is that I bought "Cryptograms" last year and was pissed. It was noise and at the time I had a lot of other music on my plate, so I was like "fuck this guy" and went back to other stuff. So when this album came out to rave reviews again, I went "okay, I gotta give this guy a real shot" and I listened. And I listened again. And I listened again. And I was pissed. I'M NOT HEARING IT PEOPLE! Then about a month later, I was on a train ride down to NYC and I was feeling lost on what to listen to. "Alright, I said, why not" BAM, I was into it. I dunno why, but right now I am on the Deerhunter bandwagon. So.......all this means is, if you listen to this, you will question the music business and me. I don't know what to tell you, but you need to really want to hear this stuff to hear it. It's shoegaze (which means you're supposed to listen to it under the influence) but there is more here than that if you really really concentrate after about 30 times through. hahahahahaha "Agoraphobia" is my favorite track and I really like the album cover too. Wouldn't you know it, now I really like "Cryptograms" as well and its even more of a stretch than this one. Deerhunter cookies for everyone! Now, if only TV on the Radio would work out for me then I would really be in business.

Going to go for 7 albums tomorrow. Why? cause its wacky Wednesday, that's why.