I got more legs than a bucket of chicken

No, I haven't been back on my wing kick, I just like that statement.....cause I do.....NOT. Anyway, it's becoming tougher and tougher to come up with witty and appropriate titles (read: tit-lees, hahahaha), but I will not give up just yet. It's just going to take a little extra effort, like Nicole Kidman moving from frumpy in Days of Thunder and Far and Away to; knock out in movies like The Interpreter.

If someone in customer service whips out a forced Ma'am or Sir. That's a codeword for "bitch" and "asshole".

I recently saw a commercial for clip on teeth. Have we gotten that self-conscious and lazy that we need clip on teeth now? It looks disgusting and if I catch someone with the clip on teeth, I am going to yell to the tree-tops and expose you.

you phoney

Speaking of phoney. Is it just me or are the make-up counters incredibly weird. I have no idea what the eff is up with those places. I've never really thought about it, but now that I have; I went down to the court and got a restraining order for myself for 100 yards. Not even mentioning the weirdo girls that work there. Unfourtunatly, I don't think I have the literary skills to capture this oddity, but maybe if you take a minute to analyze the next time you walk by, you'll be able to realize it too. The counters are a mixture of televangelist , plastic surgeons, and circus. They provide the belief, the ability, a little bit of tantilizing whackyness and viola!, a make-up counter.

Dove Bar: a type of Ice Cream and Soap, but never confuse the two.

Like everyone else, I hate doing stuff over and over. Cleaning things is anoying to me. I do it because I have to, but every once and a while, I'd like to get a break from laundry. Newman reveals why mailmen go crazy; "because the mail never stops!", I use this theory with laundry. I always have to wear clothes and always have to wash them. It's not like dishes, because you can always have disposable plates/order in. Wouldn't it be nice if there were disposable clothes? Shouldn't there be? And if there were, would my mom try to wash and save them like she does with all the disposable plates?

Just cause its a great word: muff

For all the sports fans out there. Can we get a petition togethor for Fox to put rat poisen in Joe Buck's coffee? I would say the petition should be for his resignation, but he would just find work on some other network to annoy the crap out of everyone. I am so sick of his self-righteous crap. He never played sports and he needs to keep his opinions concerning player and manager behaviour to himself. I know his dad was an announcer too, but he didn't suck. Anyway, I hate games called by him and if I ever see him, he can expect to be tackled and made to chain smoke until we have to remove his larynx.

Gym Rule: Listen; I know the spin classes are a good workout and I respect them. However, Lance does not do spin classes and he wouldn't walk around the gym in his bike shoes. If you want to do spin, great, but keep your bike shorts and shoes in the classroom or out in the road, and not in the weightroom. If you were a real cyclist, you'd be out on your bike and not in the classroom. Grow up.

Post Written while listening to: ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" (I don't have iTunes on the home comp yet)