On driving, society, and of course; me

I have done a lot of thinking and pondering and considering on this particular subject. It's not as easy as it seems, particularly because if you go by my stats, I do not fit under that definition of a "good driver". Yet, I feel as though there should be some sort of a classification for my particular abilities.

But first, lets talk about what I see out there on the pathways we use to get from place to place that some people call; roads. I have created a term for this particular style of driving that really chaps my hide. I call it; "passive driving".

Chances are, that most passive drivers think that they are safe drivers and driving defensively. Unfourtunatly, they miss the concept of driving a car in the first place, which is; to get from point A to point B in a efficient and timely manner. They also fail to realize that there is a system of OTHER PEOPLE on the road who are trying to get from place to place as well. This is namely the difference between a passive driver and a defensive driver. There is a good chance that a passive driver is unaware of the needs of the vehicles around them. They perform acts such as slow down to a speed of about 10 mph to make a turn off a 55mph road. They don't make a right on red because they are scared. They stop at the beginning of a yellow light. They drive 25mph in anything other than pure sunshine. They drive the speed limit in the left hand lane. I often find myself screaming to the hula girl on my dashboard "Drive your effing car!!' It may seem a bit facetious and pointless because obviously if a person is in the drivers seat and moving in their car, then they are driving it. However, my anger comes from the mindset that I see these particular passive drivers are in. They are letting their cars drive them, rather than driving thier cars. The definition of driving is a multi facited definition, but its used as the verb in which to describe what we do with our cars for a reason. To drive means to "to send, expel, or otherwise cause to move by force or compulsion". These passive drivers are unfocused behind the wheel and not driving their cars.

Now, I understand that I may be giving off a vibe of a person who wants to justify driving like a maniac, but that is not the case. I also realize that I get tickets for things like pausing at stop signs, rather than stopping at them. Speeding 10mph over in a school zone, and one "failure to keep right" ticket that I will not discuss. BUT, I have never gotten the finger from a fellow motorist, a horn blown at me at a stop light, a frustrated stare from the car next to me, or the screech of tires behind me. The truth is, I'm just a guy who wants to see the traffic system work without selfish passive drivers screwing it up. I think people would be a lot less aggressive if they had nothing to be aggressive against. People drive aggressively to get out of the way of those who are driving meekly. I don't like aggressive drivers, but I understand their motivations. They are trying to get somewhere with some semblence of time but unfourtunatly do not consider the fellow driver either.

Unfourtunatly, I see no solution to this problem. Some people will always be scared of their own cars and their ability to drive them, and some people will always be overly aggressive against the clock and other people on the road, and there will be me, stuck in the middle and supremely awesome.

This post written while listening to: Sigur Ros "Agaetis Byrjun"

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a ToysRUs Kid

Sometimes I forget things. Okay, a lot of times I forget things. I forget to drink enough water, pay bills in a timely fashion, wear underwear, shower, call my parents, go to church, Q-Tip my ears, and most importantly; 95% of my childhood. I am modern man, I live in the now, not the then. And since I don't remember that I am supposed to act older, I will often times act like a child. I enjoy wrestling, being loud, wearing clothes that don't match, toys, and candy. Don't get me wrong, I can be an old man when I need to be, its just that when you don't have much responbilities, there is no reason to be responsible. Thus, I am often finding myself laughing louder than I should, being more inappropriate than I should, and entertaining myself with low-brow humor.

Is this pathetic, foolish, and atrocious? Sure it is. However, this lifestyle keeps me out of trouble more so than most of the other adults I know. I don't drink booze, I am always active, I read a lot of books and, don't have any STD's, watch a lot of baseball, take healthy naps, and always take my vitamins. I don't even know what cholesterol is, and the only page in the paper I care about is the cartoons/word jumble. Adulthood is not something that is measured with credits, money, and social contacts.

There is a difference between avoiding responsibility and not taking it. Avoiding means not doing what you have and are obliged to do. Not taking it is not putting yourself in a position to take responsibilities that you don't need to. I find many people take on responsibilities based on some sort of unwritten bible of society. (Imagine me making double finger bunnies as a say the following) You NEED to make a lot of money. You NEED to have a new car. You NEED to have a job that you can be proud of. You NEED to have a girlfriend/boyfriend. You NEED to attend social gatherings. You NEED to get an education.

Unfourtunatly, the only thing that you NEED to be is happy, and I see too many people sacrificing their happiness in order to attain one or all of those societal merit badges. Its very cliché to say "do what makes you happy", but I find that often people let clichés pass in through one ear and out the other. All of a sudden, they are doing all this work to attain things they don't even want, just so they can look their parents, friends, and co-workers in the eye. All the while; not watching the shows they want, doing the activities they want, wearing the clothes they want, and seeing the people they want. Your "need to do's" should satisfy the "want to do's" and if your "wants" are not being attained, then you don't "need" to do it. Being able to look yourself in the eye is a lot more satisfying then being able to look in someone elses eye.

Maybe you won't have a flashy car, a bank account full of money, a peice of wall debris from an institution, or a person who will pretend to care about you, but you'll smile bigger, laugh longer, and have a real reason to enjoy getting up in the morning and avoid going to sleep at night.

Then again, maybe I was wrong to think that happiness was absolutely necessary and I should organize my life around making the most money or a job I don't like instead and I just write stuff like this so I can feel comfortable in who I am......... Whatever......

This post written while listening to: Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero"