Judge Dredd

It may be cheating, but I actually hand wrote this post while I am waiting at the dealership for a standard oil change. Male blasphemy you say? True, but its free for a year with my new (used) car and they have tasty hot beverages in the service department lounge. So consider me happily emasculated.
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At the dealership, this takes about 45 minutes for a 15 minute job, but as a card carrying member of the "Fuck me, I work in the service industry" society, I understand why this is, and happily keep my "cool" while I enjoy some coffee and the sideways glances of senior citizens at the the hole in the crotch of my jeans.
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Since we are here, lets go around the room overly-judgemental style, yes?
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-The Receptionist is wearing short black shorts with long thick grey tights underneath, and knee high black leather stiletto boots. She is also wearing a deep v-neck long sleeve shirt, but a scarf to cover her neck. Her teeth are bleached, but the spaces between the teeth say 2 packs a day. I would be willing to bet the price of a transmission fluid flush that her coat is one of those mini jacket numbers that comes down to just under her boobs, but has a gigantic hood with the fake fur trim. She's 38 going on 23 in her mind.
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-There is a husky guy in his mid 50's sitting across from me who has an un-naturally red face and bald head. I wonder what his blood pressure is? He looks like a pot roast dinner and 3 egg omelet breakfast kind of guy.
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-A man who looks like recently retired high school janitor is talking the ear off of the receptionist. I avoided this disaster earlier when I went up for coffee and he was standing there looking very very lost and searching for my eye contact. I grabbed a cup and ran out of there shielding my eyes from his. I can spot a pesterer from a mile away and all it takes is eye contact to ruin the next 15 minutes of your life.
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-This is funny because I was just discussing him yesterday, but there is a man in the corner who looks like a short version of John Malkavich. He is laid back in his chair trying desperately to stay awake, but he is doing the extended blink of death. Each blink keeping his eyes closed longer and longer. He must not have partaken in the array of hot beverages.
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-A girl in her early 20's just came in. She is dressed in new employee corporate attire. She's still trying hard with her pinstriped black pants, pressed and creased. Super shiny low heels with decorative buckle. Probably 200 bucks a piece, matched with a 100 dollar winter coat. I'm on to you Missy, you can't hide the insecurity in your face. She probably set aside 2.5 hours for this 45 min service appointment and has been stressing out about it for a week and still is a little stressed. Her counter language says "please don't ruin my day" and now she is gripping her magazine like hungry badger.......a hungry badger that likes to eat magazines. Extra points for a hounds tooth purse though.
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-Oh goody! Blue tooth guy just burst through the door. Hi Blue tooth guy! Tell me something. Have you ever tried using 2 blue tooths for each ear? That way you can take orders from your wife that doesn't respect you or your personal time at the same time as you berate the company idiot by over-managing and over-organizing to make yourself feel smart and important.
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That's enough people watching for now. I always end up getting carried away with overly mean comments. That one of the nasty side effects from religiously reading sites like The Superfish......
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(6 minutes passes)
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Ugh, Overwhelmed Corporate Girl just ripped open a perfume sample in her magazine and it made me pass out. I think it also may have killed all the bugs in the room and woken up Bizarro Malkavich because now he is gone. Extra hounds tooth points REVOKED!
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Holy Moley! High Blood Pressure guy just let out about 10 seconds worth of hacking coughs which made him turn a scary shade of purple. Where is the AED in this place?

ALBUM REVIEWS
22-Quiet Village "Silent Movie": I wasn't paying close enough attention and this album should probably be just under Flying Lotus in the "Really good, but an instrumentals album" section. A mistake in that I am trying to make this list less personal and more critical towards getting it right for the common person, but when you are reorganizing the list over and over, stuff like this happens. This album is a little more conventional than Flying Lotus and has a really good oldies groove to it. I really dig the way it captures its own title in that the songs almost sound like background tracks to cool movies from the 50's and 60's mixed with some new age techniques. A very interesting head phones album. YOu may really like it, or completely tune it out depending on your ear for musical appreciation. "Circus of Horror" is my favorite.

21-Beck "Modern Guilt": I am of the camp that Beck is a musical genius and he is one of my favorite artists. He can make a song for just about any genre, he is that good. I have never seen him live, but I have heard he loses his edge a little bit. Which is okay, because his effectiveness is in his nuances that don't translate well in a large live show. At first, I thought this album was kind of a dud. But the more I listened to it, the more I began to really like it. There is some really good stuff on here and it is pretty strong the whole way through, albeit a short album with about a 50 min run time. If you really like Beck (such as consider Sea Change a really good album of his) buy this album and eventually you will be glad you did. If you don't like Beck....move on, nothing to see here. The title track "Modern Guilt" is my favorite.

20-Q-Tip "The Renaissance": Hey! A rap Album! I know, I bet you all were thinking I didn't listen to much rap, but I do. This is a great album by a rap legend (formerly of A Tribe Called Quest). The hip hop stars should pay attention because the most important thing about a good rap album is the lyrics. THE LYRICS and Delivery. Therefore, they have to be easily understandable and not many can do this as well as Q-Tip. His voice is as clear as a bell. If you think about most of the long lasting rap artists, they rap clearly. This is a fun car-riding album and you don't have to worry if there are any school children in the car with you. Nothing special or trendy, just good solid simple beats and Q-tip doing his thing. Probably the most can't miss like able album I have given so far.

19-Coldplay "Viva la Vida": I like the music, I hate Chris Martin. So its pretty good music if I am willing to bypass this discrepancy. Maybe it has something to do with the Brian Eno production. It's definitely a little different than their past albums and has a little more extra electronic pizazz to it. It's also a little cheesy, but its good from start to finish and is on par with the other albums from this band. It kicks off well with "Life in Technicolor" and I think that the title track may be my least favorite on this album. I would also like to subtract some points for 2 versions of "Lovers in Japan" and "Lost". Save it for the re-mix guys. But its all enjoyable for pop music and maybe had a shot at being top 15 with out a d-bag lead singer and 1-2 more original tracks. My favorite track is "Yes"

18-Deerhunter "Microcastle": Alright, I don't know how to explain this, but I went from hating Deerhunter to really really liking it. I have a sneaky suspicion that Pitchfork may make this their #1 album of the year. A little history is that I bought "Cryptograms" last year and was pissed. It was noise and at the time I had a lot of other music on my plate, so I was like "fuck this guy" and went back to other stuff. So when this album came out to rave reviews again, I went "okay, I gotta give this guy a real shot" and I listened. And I listened again. And I listened again. And I was pissed. I'M NOT HEARING IT PEOPLE! Then about a month later, I was on a train ride down to NYC and I was feeling lost on what to listen to. "Alright, I said, why not" BAM, I was into it. I dunno why, but right now I am on the Deerhunter bandwagon. So.......all this means is, if you listen to this, you will question the music business and me. I don't know what to tell you, but you need to really want to hear this stuff to hear it. It's shoegaze (which means you're supposed to listen to it under the influence) but there is more here than that if you really really concentrate after about 30 times through. hahahahahaha "Agoraphobia" is my favorite track and I really like the album cover too. Wouldn't you know it, now I really like "Cryptograms" as well and its even more of a stretch than this one. Deerhunter cookies for everyone! Now, if only TV on the Radio would work out for me then I would really be in business.

Going to go for 7 albums tomorrow. Why? cause its wacky Wednesday, that's why.

Thank you DD

So I picked up my new (to me) car yesterday. Even by S.Vincent standards it was a quick sale. I am known far and wide as Mr. Impulsive Immediate Buyer, but usually you would take more than 20 minutes to purchase a new car, even if you were careless with such things. However, I threw caution, not just to the wind, but to a level 5 southern coast city hurricane. I picked it out in 10 minutes and had the 40 documents signed in 5. I walked outta the dealership with keys in my hand and a "this is my first time in prison and I weigh 140 lbs" face.

The car is more than fine. It's literally a steal by most standards of the word, I was really just amazed how quickly someone can dispatch 7 thousand dollars and walk out with a certified machine. I usually avoid such situations due to the length of time involved in such a decision and paperwork and so on and so forth. But that was so easy, I might just go trade it in next weekend for a different one cause I feel like driving red car.

It's a 2001 Nissan Altima and its the exact same color as the Grzylle's car. With tons of homosexual ambiguity already surrounding our relationship, this may not have been a smart move for me and my never ending quest for multiple ladies. However, I am going to propose that we start a interstate car gang and terrorize the eastern seaboard with our trifecta of male chauvenism, indie music knowledge, and disregard for social faupax's. We'll call ourselves the "Teal Tridents" and drag race down neighberhood streets with our 0-60 in 10 second, mid level, asain 4 door sedans. Watch out world! If you hear the ca-caw of a raven, a squeal of discount tires, and smell a delicious Old Spice underarm spray fragrance mixed with old unisuit funk. You know who it is. Move bitch, get out da way......or maybe get in the back cause I like the way your butt hangs out of the bottom of your airbrushed cotton shorts.

So I roll into Dunkin' Donuts today for a little hot beverage revival after practice and the nice lady at the counter asks me "would you like a free donut?" Now, we all know I am in a never ending quest for multiple ladies, as well as to maintain my girlish figure. Sadly, I am also weak against any fried pastry. So given that this particular donut was free, I had to say yes, Boston Creme PLEASE! Upon receiving, I took out half of that sucker with one ferrocious chomp. As I am happily paying for my coffee, I ask the nice lady "mo waf arf bees monufs wor?" which she in turn translated to be "So what are these donuts for?" and then replied with a ample amount of disgust "It's tax day"........shortly after her declaration, she was removing chewed dough, custard, and slobber from her hair sprayed directly from the mouth of a mr. S.Vincent.

Guess who forgot to do their taxes? No worries though, I banged it out in 30 mins online and had the paltry ~400 dollar return direct deposited into my account. Which explains why I am here online, blabbering on about myself.

Death of a Legend...

This has been coming for a long time, but that doesn't mean you could be prepared for it at anytime. She survived countless parties, close calls, storms, heavy burdens, cold winters, stifling summers, reckless NYC drivers, and slow-going senior citizens with no regard for life or society.

She was imperfect from day one. Her sound system didn't work and wouldn't work, her cell phone technology was outdated almost immedeatly, her air suspension was downright dangerous, her headlights collected moisture, and her tires and drivers seat were recalled. She would nag you incessently when your gas tank dipped below half a tank that she was "LOW ON FUEL!!!!"

Her radiator thermostat broke on a 10 hour trip back from Canada, but she protected me on a fog out at 90mph at 3am on the way to Canada. She got a flat tire on the way to the gym during the hottest day of the summer, but her heavy studded tires saved me from numerous snow banks while racing to the gym in Nor'easters. Her over-flared fenders got cracked on my building driveway, but she survived getting backed into by over anxious rowers without a scratch.

Her death was unceremonious considering her life. She did not die slamming into the back of yet another senior citizen taking 30 seconds to make a right hand turn. She did not die crashing through a chain that boathouse security leaves up. She did not die spinning out of control on an snowy road. She did not die while redlining to outrun a state trooper or on a cold rainy evening with a attractive female riding shotgun and Jeff Buckely on the radio.

She died pulling out of a parking space.....

Just one trip too many on the ol' wheels I guess. The wheels were asked to turn to straighten out on the gym parking lot, and the wheels said "no mas" with a steely gunfire crack. She would not drive one more foot.

The doctors put her down this monday.

So there will be no more shouting profanities at school children on hot september days because the AC doesn't work. No more chuckling at stop lights while people try to figure out "what the hell that rattling sound is". No more free oakley advertising and no more excuses for "taking your car". No more staring at the constant "Check Engine" light, or talking to potential terrorist to get a NYS inspection sticker.

She sure lived up to the Ford "Exploder" stereo-type. Even though she gave me nothing but grief, it is said that Henry Ford would give you no grief that you couldn't bare. So maybe I deserved all the trouble that she gave me, but I certainly gave her more than she could handle in return.

So I win, but I will miss that biotch.......

This post written while listening to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Maps"

Save the Planet, Kill Yourself

I saw this on a bumper sticker the other day. I am not a big fan of putting a political/funny message on a car, but if I had to pick one for my own car, this would be it. It's more complex than its harsh exterior. First; "Kill Yourself" is one of my favorite statements from college. It can be used in a variety of situations. Like "dude" or "f$ck", it depends on its inflection.

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It can be used to express apathy at a friends situation; "I just realized I have to buy 500 dollars worth of books" "oh man, kill yourself".

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It can also be used in a situation to poke fun at a friends light-hearted misfourtune;"I was walking home from the library, and I got stuck talking to that annoying girl I made out with last weekend" "hahaha, kill yourself".

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It can also be used to express frustration with someone (usually a peer) "That guy was blabbering on and on about his cool car and these girls he met, and the entire time I was thinking, dude, kill yourself"

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But this bumper sticker tags "Kill Yourself" along with a common political tag line. "Save the Planet" is usually followed by a certain action that the possesor of the sticker feels is the most important way to save said planet, i.e. buy Organic, don't eat meat, plant a tree, impeach bush, ride a bike, etc etc etc.

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Does the possessor of the kill yourself sticker believe that killing oneself is a way to save energy, and reduce waste? That would be a true statement. Less people means less waste and less of a demand for energy. Or, is the possessor of the sticker asking those who make political statements regarding thier views on saving the planet to kill themselves? They are rather annoying and usually posses an attitude that they are "holier than thou". Or; is the possessor a genocidal maniac who would like nothing more than the extinction of the entire human race but himself in order to have eternal peace and the entire world would be his personal space to do with as he please? People; political or not, annoy this person and he would like nothing better for them all to die, but by the means of killing themselves, so he doesn't have to get his hands or conscience dirty.

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There are so many different interpretations as you can see. But the reason I would like it, is that I like to be outrageous for the sake of being outrageous, and confusing for the sake of being confusing. Plus, most of the time I am driving I am in an angry "kill yourself" mode anyway........so that's that.

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I was feeling slightly guilty, but I have not been the only one not posting as much this time of year. My RSS feeder has been surprisingly inactive this time of year. I think it's because us bloggers are attention whores. Unfourtunatly, we are also nerds who are ignored by our loved ones on a daily basis except for one time of the year.......Thanksgiving to New Years. The time when our loved ones reach out to all members of the family based on guilt or keeping a facade of happy times. Even us Rudolphs get called back to be a part of the family reindeer games......till January 2nd anyway.

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Us bloggers will be back then, when winter is at its finest hour and we are depressed and fat and lonely and in need of a little attention. So hang in there internet surfers, the waves may be small, but the ocean is always at it calmest just before the storm.......

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This post written while listening to: "ageless beauty" -Stars

S.Vincent Life Update

I read a lot of blogs; this you know. There are so many entertaining formats to read depending on the strength of the writer. Most people use their blog as their "what I did today/this week" log of events. If you are a consistent reader of YFYB, you know that my daily events include the same "not interesting to anyone but me" events. Wakeup, row, eat bland food, work, nap for an hour, lift weights/hate on people, row again, eat bland food, watch tv, sleep. Not exactly white knuckle excitement for you to read about. Most people have enough self delusion to think that a recording of their day would be a hit reality show, but I am quite positive that mine is not given that the few people who have had a backstage pass to the life of S.Vincent have walked away shaking their head in confusion, decideding that doodling large spirals on a legal pad would be a more exciting experience. So YFYB is written by me for people like me, who have a little time to kill and whose attention migrates towards the distraction from daily responsibilities rather than the focus on them. (Just like it says in the title!) Therefore, most of my posts are opinions/observations on what I see in daily wanderings around PoVegas or see on TV, not what I am actually doing.

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However, sometimes I have interesting things happen to me, or should I say, the world does interesting things to me. For one, I have a new position to undertake this year, which is exciting. I am looking forward to a new approach to coaching, and am confident/happy to try something new. I am also coming up on the racing season for myself personally, and I hope to have a much more focused effort this year than last year. So far, this has been on target, and I just need to put enough hands in people faces once the school year starts and the schedule gets a little more hectic.

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Fear not constant readers, who hung tough through last years September to November YFYB blackout period in which no posting got done, I am committed this time to getting posts about all the randomness that is S.Vincent squeezing his brain like a sponge and seeing what soapy thoughts land on the pavement.

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A new vehicle will also be in the future. Eddie the Explorer is the automobile equivalent of a 45 year old Tara Reid. Lots of surgery is holding her togethor, and she can't go anywhere without guzzling 2 gallons of gasoline. I will miss him though, unlike Tara Reid. He is a big enough P.O.S that I never felt ashamed in keeping him unwashed, or punching him through red lights and rough terrain without thoughts of his safety, but to date, I have never had to worry much about him starting up or dying on me. I would park him in perrilous situations, and dared people to hit me. Tune ups were never much on my mind after a certain point either. Eddie was like an old pair of sneakers to me. In old sneakers, you never have to worry about going out in the rain, or stomping through some mud, sliding into 1st base, or kicking stones in old sneakers, and there is a easy security to knowing that. With so many things to watch over and maintain on a daily basis, it's nice to have something that requires no second thoughts as to the consequences. That was Eddie to me, I will miss him, but in order to keep him a positive memory, I have to send him on before he becomes a negative one.

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So there you go sports fans, a little biographical update on whats going on lately. At this rate of change, I'll get back to you in 2010 when enough changes have happened to me to fill another 200 word post.

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This post written while listening to: Stellastarr* "Harmonies for the Haunted"