I can feel it, coming in the air tonight........hold on

Oh baby I'm fricken' PUMPED! The unfourtunate thing is that it will invariably spoil this movie for me. There are two things wrong with it as I see it. One, they have been using re-makes of some of the classic songs. Can someone explain to me whats wrong with the originals? What's next, re-doing "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam? "Teen Spirit" by Nirvana? "..Streets..." by U2?

The second is that it is modernized for todays time period. I think they failed to realize that 99% of the Miami Vice generation still exists and loves the show as it was. Rather than take a chance on getting some new viewers and failing, why not concentrate on not spoiling it for the old ones. Miami Vice WAS the 80's, it caught lightening in a bottle from the fashion to the music to the cars and the cool city to be. You can't re-create that, you can only re-present it to the public and hope they remember how cool it was. Modernizing Miami Vice is as risky as trying to modernize "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". You can't re-create the enthusiasm for Lamborghini's and Cigarette Boats, because no one had ever seen them before this show. Now they are common place. Back then; there were 10 channels and rotary phones, so you could open eyes with amazment a little easier than the instant information era.

I re-watched the pilot episode and as Bill Simmons already pointed out, I still get chills when Crocket pulls over to the pay-phone to the opening riff of "In the Air Tonight" on their way to a deteriorating undercover rendezvoux and says:

"Caroline, I just gotta ask you something. Me and you, not how we are now,........but then.....it was real right?"

I'm still going to see it and hope. I think Jamie Fox and Colin Farrell are excellent choices, but I think we may be dealing with a doomed scenario.

Gym Rule: Hey Nick and Jessica, take it outside. Canoodling and baby talk makes everyone sick in 9 out of 10 situations. You're not on a crowded street, you're in the gym. So lets keep the foreplay for the bedroom before I spray lysol on you and have Capt. Bacne show you what real love is.

New blogger of the week finally posted. I like these photo blogs, they are kinda fun to look at cause reading can be a pain in the ass all day. It's a picture book for you mental midgets out there.

"Yeah Sonny, it was real"

This Post Written While Listening To: O.A.R "Risen"

The Anti-Lance

I hate to turn this into a Lance bash, but after re-watching this stage that I ended up staying home from work for to see, it had to be done. You see, it's not that I hate Lance Armstrong, I hate the character. I don't know Lance personally but I do know cycling and the tour and what an athlete is. I hate what Lance made this sport and the mindless way in which he got the masses to follow the hype. I hate that he was first and that he did it in such a way that Americans will never know what this tour is really about. He changed everything, but for the worse, and he brought America with him.

If you're a baseball fan, he's Alex Rodriguez. Except theres no NY media to rip him apart that knows what cycling is. I love that he's turned his fame into a way to raise money for cancer. I think however, that its the only great thing that he's done.

You see, Lance is a phoney winner. He won the tour so many times because he owns his own team and solely focused on the Tour. Like a child who has the only Nintendo in the neighberhood and plays super mario brothers all day and then is smug about beating you in it when he invites you over. It was amazing the first time, but even then it was a mental win. Not the type of drama a 21 day race is supposed to have. Lance won by playing with his calculator more than anyone. He deserved to win, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Thus, the reason why everyone in Europe despises him for turning their race into a math contest instead of the rolling soap opera it used to be. The reason why the french hate him is not because he won their stupid race, but because he won it in the wrong way; with his head instead of his heart.

Today, the fans were awoken from their coma, and Floyd Landis on Stage 17 was the adrenaline shot to the heart via Pulp Fiction. On stage 16, Floyd was stricken by dehydration and got dropped back over 8 minutes from the lead. This is a tour death sentence, so much so that everyone made that the story of how unfourtunate it was the Floyd's last tour would lost in such a demoralizing manner rather than a real shot to win. You see, Floyd has a hip that is so damaged from being broken, that he needs a hip replacement after this race. As you can imagine the pain is excruciating. Did I mention that no one has come back from this surgery to continue a professional riding career? Yeah, lance was lucky to escape from cancer, no doubt, however no one would argue that he was 100% healthy when riding. No one would argue that at best Floyd is at 75%. When Floyd charged down that last descent to the finish line, after having the lead for almost 4 hours and regaining almost all of his time lost from his bonk on stage 16, the fans gasped for air, clutched the 400cc needle in their heart and let out a big "holy SHIT!"

Floyd was just plain angry. Sick of armstrongs shadow, sick of the sympathy, sick of himself, sick of playing by the "rules" laid out by the former 7 time winner. Heres why he was so different from lance. He attacked with a reckless abandon. Lance has never taken a shit without planning for it 48 hours in advance with 6 coaches, pre-planned toilet paper, flushing the toilet 5 times before he goes, and a special Lance yellow airhorn to announce that the bowel movement will begin. Floyd didn't give a cocky look back at the competition to say he was going, he didn't wait for his team mates to help him, and everyone and my grandmother didn't know he was going. Lance won by going when everyone else was weak. He never challenged anyone, just waited until they were tired and then rode away. Thus, I watched almost no tour coverage from 2002 -2005. I couldn't take the boredom of watching the peloton ride around France for a month with nothing happening in the standings. The tours would go like like this......Armstrong places 2nd, 3rd, 15, 14, 10, 20, 3rd in a mountain stage to take yellow. Then rides in the peloton for 3 weeks.

Floyd won on an attack from the main field that started from the first pedal stroke. Lance has never done that. Never shown that kind of dominance for that long. Floyd was emotionally destroyed on stage 16. There is no way that any rational athlete would think that he could do anything after your body getting ravaged by a bonk the day before. Somehow Floyd put it all behind him and rode away from the best riders in the world, by himself, for over 5 hours. When he crossed the line, he looked pissed, not happy, not lance stone faced. He raised the most tightly wound fist I have ever seen. It was beautiful. Lance's performances never made me want to cry, Floyds stage 17 did. The greatest stage I have ever seen since LeMonds time trial in 89. Some cyclist are calling it the greatest stage ever seen: a miracle. I don't know about that, but the tour is 100 years old, and I'm only 24.

Unfourtunatly, I can't bring the drama of the Tour to the masses. No one can put something with so much history and personal experience by just words on a page. It would be like trying to explain what High School is like to person who was home-schooled and vice versa. However, what I hope the 2 people who browse through this rambling can take away is that Floyd Landis returned real cycling to the fans from the grips of The Armstrong Law. Whats more fun, a guy with all the tools and physiology winning by :30 secs? Or a guy with a broken hip, disadvantged with a sub-par team, winning by :10? To me, that's a cyclist. A dashing, reckless, noble, fear-less warrior.......aka an Anti-Lance.

Now: no more cycling posts after this, I swear.

Oh Phil, you sweet little english muffin.

Ever since that phoney Lance Armstrong has left, the tour has been great. It's wide open heading into the mountains and I've finally found myself interested in this awesome event again. One of my hero's from the past is this guy on the left. Italian super sprinter Mario Cippolini. He's He actually holds the record for most Tour stage wins. However, he may be the best styled athlete of all time. Which is why I really respect him still even though he retired about a year ago. If you ever wonder why I wear crazy stuff when I work out and care more about how I look then, than at a wedding (even my own someday), he is the reason why. He was like a rolling fashion show; the bikes, the outfits, the sunglasses, he had it all. He's nafarious for breaking uniform regulations (bet your surprised to find out they have them), but when he would suddenly come stamping out of a about 150 riders in a straight away you knew it was over. I am comfortable enough in my own sexuality to say he may be the most attractive man I have ever seen. I wish I could quit you Mario. Anyway, here are some other pics of "The Lion King". #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7. Hes the real missed rider on the tour that retired, not Lance Over-hypedstrong. Mario was vain and pompous and he wasn't ashamed to be that way and show it in the way he rode and dressed. Lance thought he was a humble warrior when the opposite was true.

Although Mario is gone, there is one tour figure that still is performing at the top of his game. Sweet Phil Ligget. He might be the best announcer and play by play man in sports. So much so, that he is the only choice for anything done on two wheels. I can't tell you how many naps sweet phil has caused me on the weekends while I watch the tour, only to gently wake me up with his voice somehow when things get interesting.

Now, hopefully I can reconstruct what little faith you have in my hetero-ness with this smokin hot pic.....Better? No, don't thank me, thank Rebecca.

You know what would be the coolest thing? If there was a surprise national holiday. A long weekend that would be released on a Thursday at 5pm to the public by the president. Just a random weekend that no one would know about. Kind of like an adult snow day. Wouldn't that be cool? Vote for S.Vincent in '08.

Gym Rule: Hey Arnold, no posing till you get some muscle. This especially goes for parts that you have take clothes off to reveal. The number one offender on this is abs. Some fart knockers with one ab feel the need to show it off while he is doing bench press inbetween sets. Put your effin dough away pillsbury boy. You got a mirror at home that you can bop your bishop to, you're grossing the rest of us out with your lack of any discernable definition.

Late edit: I just noticed that Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Rafeal Palmero all wear number 25. Is that way too coincidental or what?


This post written while listening to: Elliot Smith "XO"

Back to Back To Back AAU National Champions

I'm not even going to explain this if you don't know what it is. But for those who do, can you imagine any better statement to entice you to buy something than this? I don't even coach this sport and I want to buy it because it might have the secret to world peace, the location of the holy grail, and whether or not Lindsay Lohan got a boob job or not all in one video. Plus, The crime dog endorses it. I'm not even going to ask how much, my soul you say? So be it, I need this video.

I know this is a time for Americans to be American and eat apple pie with melted slices of american cheese on it and shoot guns and slander politicians, foreign countries, religous figures or whatever it is that an American is supposed to do, but I may have to throw a few malicious words at the worst state of the union.....New Jersey.

I know I know, its not that bad (as people from NJ would say) but when you come from the best area in the entire world, NJ seems so fricken annoying. I have to travel down there a lot because our major supplier for my company is located there. Just getting on the exit is a sign that (as my homey friends would say) "shitt is effed up holmes". It's the type of exit that the right hand lane just becomes the NJ turnpike and you can bet your pink slip that some drunk old lady (aka: anyone with a yellow plate) is going to come flying there at the last second and/or swerve out of it at the last second. When you cross the state line (Welcome to the Garden State!) you can feel that your life just took a step down the evoloutionary ladder. It's like when you find yourself eating food off the floor or watching an original MTV program; one of those self reflecting "its come down to this?" type moments.

Speaking of NJ, when is it going to take responsibility for the fact that it's foster child, Long Island, has been mooching of us for too long now. I know we agreed to take it off your hands for a little while so NJ could maybe clean itself up, get off the drugs and get a job, but its obvious that NJ is hopeless. So take your delinquint mutt back already, its obvious it doesn't belong to NY. (I got this pic while searching for pics of LI, you can't make this stuff up, its really LI)

New Gym Rule: If Droz was a member, he would tell you "Don't be that guy". The t-shirt that the gym gave you has no place on your body while you are at the gym that gave it to you. It's to be a last resort t-shirt only. Like, if all your other clothes have asbestos fibers on them. Try to be original for once in your life and pretend like this isn't your first time inside a gym, have some class.

This Post Written While Listening to: My Morning Jacket "At Dawn"