It's not a boat, it's a nylon covered WMD

Lets start off by saying that I originally wrote this whole thing on Monday. I put the finishing touches on it, was doing a little editing and adding some fantabulous photos; when the power went out. Of course I didn't save it as a draft but who would know that my 25 year fued with Thomas Edison would bite me in the fantabulous tooshey on that day. Anyway, I'll try to re-create as best I can but, no guarantees.

So I finally got my single up to the family lake-house after 2 years of procrastination. I knew when I first started rowing that the lake would be the perfect place to row. It has everything a rower dreams of: protection from wind, fresh water, 6 miles of water, very few powerboats. Its the sort of place I would like to live with a big scary black man to tell me I sucked and was weak with a some rusty weights and a boat and 400 cans of Tuna and carve myself out of stone. But, I don't know any black people and I hate tuna. In any case, I loaded my suspicious looking boat on top of my car, took out a loan to fill the tank with gas, put my turban on, and pointed her north.

The trip was all I knew it would be, and if you are a rower reading this, I plan on going up there every weekend I can for a little while. Give me a buzz and I'll cart you up for 20 bucks worth of gas money. The house is on the other end of the lake in this photo. I highly suggest that you go on long trips by yourself in a car if you have the means. Its a great way to clear your head. I find myself often reverting to thinking about the unanswerables. Questions like "If I lived in X, would my life be better?" "If I had different parents, how different would I be?" "What is the meaning of life?" "Could I survive in the wilderness if I had to?" "How strange would it be to have kids?" All of those things that have no answers, just random head ramblings that create more questions and even fewer answers. I try to stay away from these thoughts because they make me sleepy and distract me making a mental "top 50 best candy" list in my head.

I hate it when people ask: "Whats the most embarassing thing thats ever happened to you?" I answer that with "When I discussed all the asanine stories that I never want to relive again to people I barely know who will use it to make judgements against me and still doesn't make me feel any better about what happened"

Is there anything more disarming then a naked person? Can you imagine a situation in which you would have no idea what to say or do for about 25 seconds? When I rob a bank and need a place to hide out, I'm going to hi-jack a house naked because that would give me the time to ju-jitsu chop the homeowner and tie him up in the closet.

I think its great that Jason Giambi is growing a dirty little mustache. I can see no negatives to this development. If there is anyone on that team that needs one, its the Giambino. They only thing that could make it better is if the dugout camera spots him and Sal Fasano eating pizza in the dugout, wearing their hats backwards, and giving wedgies to Melky Cabrera.

If you are taking long drives and you start to feel sleepy, I have a solution for you. I call it the "Stay Awake Shake". This entails shaking your head back and forth horizontally in small arcs as fast as you can for about 20-30 seconds. Think of shaking your head to signifify the "no" response. The small arcs allow you to keep your eyes on the road, and will rattle your brain enough to get you to the next rest stop for red bulls and 50 jumping jacks.

On this weekend's trip, I saw an Alaska license plate. I wish I still had my travel book from when I was 10, that sucker would have been worth like 50 points.

This Post written while listening to: Depeche Mode "Music for the Masses"