The Grinch(internet) stole Christmas

There is a common theme that happens at my place of employment involving everyone but S.Vincent. Everyone YELLS all THE TIME! Despite my anxious web scribblings, I am actually a very Zen like creature when it comes to my physical actions. I wake up very early, I go to sleep late, and there are many hours of intense labor inbetween. I don't have the energy to talk above a normal speaking voice, something my co-workers are oviously unable to control. It's absolutely deafening in the office, no exageration, and I can't even move because the volume paralyzes me. Between co-worker yelling at co-worker, bosses yelling at customers, co-workers yelling on the cell phone, bosses yelling on their cell phone, my co-worker yelling at himself, and crack addicts outside yelling at the garbage cans, I feel like I am riding in the landing gear of a 747 everyday. Its not even angry yelling, its just talking in a EXTREMELY loud voice. Someday I am going to stand up in the middle of it all and just scream "ALL IS WELL, REMAIN CALM, ALLLL ISS WELLL!!!!!"

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The internet ruined my christmas. For the past week, I have been hounding Amazon.com to find a gift for everyone on my list. It took me about 3 days to collect it all and then on Monday I was ready to hit CHECK OUT. Well only 4 of my 15 items were able to get here before christmas EVEN if I used 1 day shipping. What the Reindeer-Fuck is that? Now I have to trek my ass to the mall with every other idiot out there to buy christmas presents that I will be settling for, instead of being excited about. That's more work for less satisfaction. Screw it! Everyone's getting kisses this year. DEAL WITH IT GRZY!

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The album review has once again driven more hits to this site then in the previous month. I am getting almost double the traffic that I usually do. Probably because people are copy-pasting my idiocy into e-mails to their co-workers and friends saying "Look at what this idiot said, lets go stab him with a rusty spoon and poop in his car". Either way, I am blog rolling today to hopefully get some of my internet buddies some biz-nass, and that will be their christmas present, unless they come to my house in which I will also give them a kiss. DOUBLE PRESENTS! So check that out over yonder......(right hand side of the page dummy.....no, your other right)

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ALBUM REVIEWS

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As many albums as I bought; there are a bunch sitting in my shopping cart right now that I didn't buy. (There's a pants-shitting surprise) Some of them are very popular choices and will probably be on a bunch of "album of the year" lists. Unfourtunatly, Superman turned down my offer to do his "fly around the world in the opposite direction, and thus reverse time or destroy the earth's gravitational center and send it hurling off into the universe manuver", so I am stuck. In the next post I will go over the UNRATED version of the album review. You see what I did there? I figure if it can work for "American Pie", it can work for S.Vincent.

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10-Ray LaMontagne "Gossip in the Grain": Looks like jesus, sings like christians think jesus would sing like. He could make a killing singing church songs. Probably make more money and be more popular then he is now. Appearances aside, this is a better version of classic Ray LaMontagne. (When Grzy told me about this guy during his first album, he said "it's spelled like Lasagna, only it's LaMontagne" and I actually knew exactly what he meant) His previous albums have been a great example of his talent with a simple guitar and great signing voice. They are really good, but what pushes Gossip over the edge is it's production quality. He has background singers and full band sets and a wider variety of styles to show off his skill set across different platforms. But, its still got its classic LaMontagne feel. It's like LaMontagne on Steroids!! Call the cops! I Really like "Sarah" (weeper love song) "Hey Me, Hey Mama" (extra hill billy folksy) "A falling through" and "Roses and Cigarettes"

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9-Vampire Weekend (self titled): This is the first 2008 release album I bought in 2008 and it seems like that was forever ago. I liked it immediately. It was cool, easy, simple tunes that had a real fresh sound with plenty of new band enthusiasm. But I wasn't blown away by anything. They don't build to big rocking highs or slow it down real nice or have crazy lyrics or some cool new method. It was like this ever chugging pretty enjoyable music machine, with no real defineable attribute. Over time I moved on to more exciting options. So why did you put them here, you ask? Well this is a pizza album, as I like to say. Even bad pizza is still better than a lot of other bad things, and mediocre pizza is great, and good pizza is really really great. Pizza might never be gourmet cuisine or something to brag to your friends about eating, but it's not supposed to be. Basically this album does enough things that involve not screwing anything up, having a real good and unique sound, and not trying to be anything more than really good pizza. I challenge you to NOT like it. Every track is solid (except for the one that oddly enough has the same name as my sister, and thus, creeps me out) and if I had to name their music, I would call it "Ivy Rock". Cause they only sing about fun school times, use stuff like violins and weird keyboards, and they all went to Columbia. So yeah, I just did that.

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8-The Tallest Man on Earth "Shallow Grave": Ahhh, what a pleasant album. TMOE is a guitar plucker, country twang/howl folk singer. He sounds a lot like Bob Dylan so if you are a Bob Dylan fan, you HAVE to buy this album. I had a tough time picking between Vampire Weekend and TMOE for this spot, and what clinched it for him was the sudden death tie breaker in which I check the playcount on iTunes. I listened to this album 8 more times than Vampire Weekend, so there you go.

TMOE is not at all tall in stature, as evidenced by this photo which Grzy sent to me while he was at his concert. I was so upset with him for living in a large city and thus having only 15 min drives for Live music. It really makes me laugh whenever I see it. Don't you just love the cute little bugger already? And he sounds like a little old "general store" man. His album is a series of simple love folk songs with lyrics that highlight missed lovers, attraction, investigation, admiration, and journeys. Its your basic folk album, but it seems much less bland than a basic folk album and I really can't say enough about the twing twangy guitar plucking. It really sets the album off on a good foot. Love "Pistol Dreams" "I won't be found" and "The Gardener"(My Favorite)

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7-MGMT "Oracular Spectacular": One of the rare finds that I got from a free iTunes single of the week. See kids? There is a point to downloading those songs! Ha, in your defense they are crap most of the time, but every once and a while you can find a little golden nugget like MGMT. You've all heard "Time to Pretend" which is the highlight of this album, but there are actually a ton of good songs to accompany it. I am not sure if it counts, but I got a deluxe version which has some other really good songs on it that may not be on most of the albums. What makes this album unique is the way that they sing with a echoey howl and electro music. Plenty of good builds in all their tracks and kind of a bizarro version of Vampire Weekend, in that it sounds like Vampire Weekend only a little more eccentric, experimental, and with specific build up points and more instrumentation. They aren't so hot live, but they are new, so give them some time to refine it. But I think this album may have "one hit wonder" written on it. Usually the people who are not good live, don't have enough chops for more than one album. Thankfully, they released a hum-dinger. There are a few duds but the hot tracks are hot. "Time to Pretend" "Kids" "Electric Feel" "Destrokk" "The Youth"

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6-Jack's Mannequin "The Glass Passenger": (cue 15-18 year old teenage girls screaming) I admit that this is a little girly. But if you didn't know that and just tried to enjoy some pf the well crafted pop-music from a good musician (featuring piano, which I am a sucker for), then you will like this album a whole lot. It sounds similar his first album under this band-title but a little more musical, if that makes sense. Deeper cuts, more sound, more instrumentation, less vocal priority. They are sing a long songs, and I am always glad when I can actually hear and understand each one. Sometimes you need music like this which you like from the start and is easy to get into no matter what the occasion. I am pretty guarded with my music (despite the blog where I talk about it all the time) because you can take a lot of flack for what you listen to. I listen to everything, but as far as what I recommend to the public, I stay on the safe road. This album is safe because even if you don't really like it, you wouldn't be confused as to why someone else would. If Vampire Weekend is pizza, then this is ranch dressing. You may prefer other types of dressing, but you aren't gonna make reaching noises at the guy who puts it on his salad. Best Tracks are "Crashin" "Annie Use your Telescope" "Caves" "Miss California" and "Drop Out/So Unknown" "Hammers and Strings"

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I would check back on Saturday for 5-1. The weather in PoVegas is a suckfest, so I may be trapped inside with nothing to do. No guarantees in PoVegas though.