The Anti-Lance

I hate to turn this into a Lance bash, but after re-watching this stage that I ended up staying home from work for to see, it had to be done. You see, it's not that I hate Lance Armstrong, I hate the character. I don't know Lance personally but I do know cycling and the tour and what an athlete is. I hate what Lance made this sport and the mindless way in which he got the masses to follow the hype. I hate that he was first and that he did it in such a way that Americans will never know what this tour is really about. He changed everything, but for the worse, and he brought America with him.

If you're a baseball fan, he's Alex Rodriguez. Except theres no NY media to rip him apart that knows what cycling is. I love that he's turned his fame into a way to raise money for cancer. I think however, that its the only great thing that he's done.

You see, Lance is a phoney winner. He won the tour so many times because he owns his own team and solely focused on the Tour. Like a child who has the only Nintendo in the neighberhood and plays super mario brothers all day and then is smug about beating you in it when he invites you over. It was amazing the first time, but even then it was a mental win. Not the type of drama a 21 day race is supposed to have. Lance won by playing with his calculator more than anyone. He deserved to win, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Thus, the reason why everyone in Europe despises him for turning their race into a math contest instead of the rolling soap opera it used to be. The reason why the french hate him is not because he won their stupid race, but because he won it in the wrong way; with his head instead of his heart.

Today, the fans were awoken from their coma, and Floyd Landis on Stage 17 was the adrenaline shot to the heart via Pulp Fiction. On stage 16, Floyd was stricken by dehydration and got dropped back over 8 minutes from the lead. This is a tour death sentence, so much so that everyone made that the story of how unfourtunate it was the Floyd's last tour would lost in such a demoralizing manner rather than a real shot to win. You see, Floyd has a hip that is so damaged from being broken, that he needs a hip replacement after this race. As you can imagine the pain is excruciating. Did I mention that no one has come back from this surgery to continue a professional riding career? Yeah, lance was lucky to escape from cancer, no doubt, however no one would argue that he was 100% healthy when riding. No one would argue that at best Floyd is at 75%. When Floyd charged down that last descent to the finish line, after having the lead for almost 4 hours and regaining almost all of his time lost from his bonk on stage 16, the fans gasped for air, clutched the 400cc needle in their heart and let out a big "holy SHIT!"

Floyd was just plain angry. Sick of armstrongs shadow, sick of the sympathy, sick of himself, sick of playing by the "rules" laid out by the former 7 time winner. Heres why he was so different from lance. He attacked with a reckless abandon. Lance has never taken a shit without planning for it 48 hours in advance with 6 coaches, pre-planned toilet paper, flushing the toilet 5 times before he goes, and a special Lance yellow airhorn to announce that the bowel movement will begin. Floyd didn't give a cocky look back at the competition to say he was going, he didn't wait for his team mates to help him, and everyone and my grandmother didn't know he was going. Lance won by going when everyone else was weak. He never challenged anyone, just waited until they were tired and then rode away. Thus, I watched almost no tour coverage from 2002 -2005. I couldn't take the boredom of watching the peloton ride around France for a month with nothing happening in the standings. The tours would go like like this......Armstrong places 2nd, 3rd, 15, 14, 10, 20, 3rd in a mountain stage to take yellow. Then rides in the peloton for 3 weeks.

Floyd won on an attack from the main field that started from the first pedal stroke. Lance has never done that. Never shown that kind of dominance for that long. Floyd was emotionally destroyed on stage 16. There is no way that any rational athlete would think that he could do anything after your body getting ravaged by a bonk the day before. Somehow Floyd put it all behind him and rode away from the best riders in the world, by himself, for over 5 hours. When he crossed the line, he looked pissed, not happy, not lance stone faced. He raised the most tightly wound fist I have ever seen. It was beautiful. Lance's performances never made me want to cry, Floyds stage 17 did. The greatest stage I have ever seen since LeMonds time trial in 89. Some cyclist are calling it the greatest stage ever seen: a miracle. I don't know about that, but the tour is 100 years old, and I'm only 24.

Unfourtunatly, I can't bring the drama of the Tour to the masses. No one can put something with so much history and personal experience by just words on a page. It would be like trying to explain what High School is like to person who was home-schooled and vice versa. However, what I hope the 2 people who browse through this rambling can take away is that Floyd Landis returned real cycling to the fans from the grips of The Armstrong Law. Whats more fun, a guy with all the tools and physiology winning by :30 secs? Or a guy with a broken hip, disadvantged with a sub-par team, winning by :10? To me, that's a cyclist. A dashing, reckless, noble, fear-less warrior.......aka an Anti-Lance.

Now: no more cycling posts after this, I swear.