Death of a Legend...

This has been coming for a long time, but that doesn't mean you could be prepared for it at anytime. She survived countless parties, close calls, storms, heavy burdens, cold winters, stifling summers, reckless NYC drivers, and slow-going senior citizens with no regard for life or society.

She was imperfect from day one. Her sound system didn't work and wouldn't work, her cell phone technology was outdated almost immedeatly, her air suspension was downright dangerous, her headlights collected moisture, and her tires and drivers seat were recalled. She would nag you incessently when your gas tank dipped below half a tank that she was "LOW ON FUEL!!!!"

Her radiator thermostat broke on a 10 hour trip back from Canada, but she protected me on a fog out at 90mph at 3am on the way to Canada. She got a flat tire on the way to the gym during the hottest day of the summer, but her heavy studded tires saved me from numerous snow banks while racing to the gym in Nor'easters. Her over-flared fenders got cracked on my building driveway, but she survived getting backed into by over anxious rowers without a scratch.

Her death was unceremonious considering her life. She did not die slamming into the back of yet another senior citizen taking 30 seconds to make a right hand turn. She did not die crashing through a chain that boathouse security leaves up. She did not die spinning out of control on an snowy road. She did not die while redlining to outrun a state trooper or on a cold rainy evening with a attractive female riding shotgun and Jeff Buckely on the radio.

She died pulling out of a parking space.....

Just one trip too many on the ol' wheels I guess. The wheels were asked to turn to straighten out on the gym parking lot, and the wheels said "no mas" with a steely gunfire crack. She would not drive one more foot.

The doctors put her down this monday.

So there will be no more shouting profanities at school children on hot september days because the AC doesn't work. No more chuckling at stop lights while people try to figure out "what the hell that rattling sound is". No more free oakley advertising and no more excuses for "taking your car". No more staring at the constant "Check Engine" light, or talking to potential terrorist to get a NYS inspection sticker.

She sure lived up to the Ford "Exploder" stereo-type. Even though she gave me nothing but grief, it is said that Henry Ford would give you no grief that you couldn't bare. So maybe I deserved all the trouble that she gave me, but I certainly gave her more than she could handle in return.

So I win, but I will miss that biotch.......

This post written while listening to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Maps"