Toe Pick!

Lots of ice in PoVegas today. I could have worn my ice skates to work..seriously. Unfourtunatly I can not think of ice skates without thinking of some of the major ice skating movies of my youth. These include "The Cutting Edge" and "The Mighty Ducks". The mighty ducks was a serious ninja turtle syndrome movie. Check Bea's blog for more info on that. Some other NTS movies for me included: Indiana Jones, Back to the Future 2, and Batman (micheal keaton version). I refuse to be ashamed of it.

Back to the ice movies because that is the theme of the day. Now, I have a little sister who is psycho to those who really know her. Some examples of her insanity include: Video Taping every episode of Friends, The Rosey O'Donnell Show, and something else I can't remember. Cutting out thousands of celebrity photos from People magazine and Scotch-Taping them to the walls of her bedroom untill they created wall to ceiling wallpaper on all 4 walls of peoples faces. Very Very Creepy. There are many more examples but this just to give you an idea of where we are going here. She also had a selection of maybe 4 movies that she watched constantly. I can't remember all of them but 2 that stick out in my mind are; The Sound of Music, and The Cutting Edge. I have seen both 20 times.

Now in a house with one TV and one VCR, we had to share time. So, a lot of times it was either watch girly bullshit or count the number of paisleys in the carpet downstairs. Not being a fan of paisley or math, I watched the movie more often than not. This movie is one of the foundations of my dillusional opinions on women. A quick rundown for you: "Doug" a minor league Hockey player with pro potential gets badly injured and can't play hockey anymore. Goes into depression and becomes a drunk, a downward spiral. Cut to "Kate" and olympic hopeful who can't seem to get along with any of her male partners because shes a vicious bitch. A true "Ice Queen", pun intended and how ironic. Somehow her coach brings these two togethor and hilarity and romance ensues...of course. Doug needs Kate-Kate needs Doug etc etc

The title of this blog comes from that movie and is the defining statement of the movie. Apparently that little funny scraper thing on the front of figure skates is called a "toe pick". Doug, never seeing a toe pick before, makes fun of its appearance and possible effectiveness and the name of it in order to have some sort of defense against the consistently cold, nagging, know it all Kate. Anyway, it does serve a purpose in keeping some stabilization I guess in a couple of figure skating moves. Everytime Dougs falls down nearly killing himself, Kate yells out, "Toe Pick!" with no regard for his condition. The reason why this lead to some of my dillusions regarding women is that eventually Kate softens and realizes Doug is a good guy and that if she lets love in her heart, she will be a much happier person. Doug realizes that shes actually a nice person underneath her hard exterior and very caring and loving. A little irony happens when Doug gets much better at figure skating and Kate falls and Doug jokingly says "Toe Pick!"

In real life....95% of ice queen bitches will always be ice queen bitches. Women always think they can change men, and it never works, a well known fact. However, because of this movie forming some of my youth, I never knew that the same applied to women. A stone cold ice bitch will always be a stone cold ice bitch and yell something out like "Toe Pick!" when your head is gushing on the ice. She's not going to soften either. She may trick you into thinking that shes a nice person and she may even want to be a nice person deep down inside. However, in most cases, that ice around her heart is formed for good. There was some sort of ice age for a million years in her past and that glacier is permant. No global warming is making that go away. You'll need a TNT concoction of Therapy/Narcostics/Tons of Patience to put a dent in that ice. Not 3 months of twirling on a frozen pond. Effin girl movies screwed me twice! I had to watch them when I was younger and they ruined my subconscious.

They probably didn't show that after Kate got her gold medal, she told Doug to go get himself a drink and she'll call him again in 4 years.