Direction to Perfection

not much new goin on in SVC land. Don't have much content here for a worthwhile post, but it's my dorky blog and I will do as I choose. I am bored at work for the first time in a long time, since my aunt high-tailed out of the family business and promoted me as Kingshit of this Turd Mountain. I got the scent down, now I have to work on my throwing arm......
http://static.zoovy.com/img/jabale/W150-H150-Be3bfbf/17cgpinfootball.jpg

For those of you out there who may have been ignoring the virus software update on your computer....they are not fucking around when they say they'll pull it if you don't renew your subscription. My official free protection ran out about a week ago and today my computer barfed on my lap literally. I had more pop-ups than a 15 year old watchin the scrambly porn channel.
http://f2.org/image/horror/eatbsn/cover.jpg

New Year coming up and for those you who can't seem to keep your mind from rationalizing a ton of stupid stuff, this is the holiday for you. What better time to fit in a bunch of shitty vices and then swear to not do them anymore later. I'm not sure why this okay, but as a super-rationalizer, I won't ask any questions. Pass the bonggggg............
http://keenys.tripod.com/webcam/bong.jpg

Seans Rotten Tomato: This one is dedicated to my morning. I want everyone to scare themselves with how much time they spend de-bugging/troubleshooting/over working on the box that is sitting in front of you right now. As many problems that the computer solves and the entertainment it provides, how much stress and trouble does it cause? This is a very old concept and I'm not gonna pretend that it isn't, but just a refresher out there for ya so you don't forget how much of a pain in the ass the computer really is. I refuse to have one in my house......but I love my iTunes. If you keep going down this path....think of how amazing your own brain is and all of the stuff it can do and is reponsible for. Craaaaaaazy.

This Post written while listiening to: Audioslave-Out of Exile

Ghost of Christmas Past

Yippeee for Christmas being over and for no more christmas music. I don't know about the readers, but I am fat and depressed and see no way out of the vicious cycle. Yet another time to reflect on my downward spiral. Enough about depression though, lets talk about happy things. What I think is hilarious about christmas is that it never fails that some member of my family gets me socks and underwear (what, you too? what a surprise!). Does this cycle/joke end? When is it going to be useless and inappropriate to buy me socks and underwear? For those that know me best (or too well) , know that I gave up wearing socks and underwear about 6 years ago. Not exactly a lifestyle practice you share with family however, so I have about 20 or so pairs of both socks and underwear that are brand new sitting around in drawers likes ghosts of Christmas past. Am I going to give them away you ask? Hell no! They're the only Christmas presents I get!

Now, I want to discuss some of my favorite commercials I have seen recently. I am a marketing major and although I do nothing with that degree, I do appreciate a good advertising effort and hate that there are people out there getting paid for some of the crappy commercials and marketing ploys I am forced to stomach on a daily basis. Most of my attention has been on the recent Snikers line of advertisements under the "Its only satisfying if you eat it" campaign. They are all awesome, but my absolute favorite is the one with snickers toupee. The Background music is what seals the deal and the tone of voice when the bald guy says "whaaaat?", and the asian guy at the end smiling. Its all perfect. Intelligent humerous and enjoyable. All of their current ads are fantastic. You may get nostalgic for some of their past ads. If you think about it, some of their ads have been the best in the business for a long time. Who can forget the guy painting the endzone for the chiefs and he accidentally spells out chefs. He utters out a fantastic frustration phrase " Great googily moogily". Anyway, here is the link to video of their current ads, they are all awesome, but the "Bald" one is the best. http://www.snickers.com/advertising.asp

I will keep you up to date on some of the better ads I see on TV leading up to the mother of all advertising periods; Superbowl Sunday. I know some of you out there rely on me for all of your culture and I would not want to let you down.

This post written while listiening to: The Killers "Hot Fuss"

Giggity!

So I got some new contacts from the eye doctor today and they are awesome. I can see like a normal human being now. I pleaded for them to give me X-Ray vision but they said it wasn't possible. Effin liars.

There has been a new additon to the local poughkeepsie community! Around 1000 Latin Americans from Pennsylvania. They display their pennsylvania heritage with nice shiny new Pennsylvania license plates on their fine automobiles. I know what you are thinking "But Sean, they're could not possibly be that many people from Pennsylvania in the Hudson Valley, much less of the Latin American flavor?" Well I don't know how they got here but they got the license plates and if I were you I would cut my throat if I got in a car accident with one of the Pennsylvania Latinos. Example: http://images.google.com/urlq=http://mckeesport.dementia.org/blog/images/paplatenew.jpg

Going over some of the previous posts. I have noticed a number of gramatical and syntax errors. I do value my work, however I have no time to proofread and I believe it falls under the general category of "I'm too cool to care that much about my blog". http://tiger.towson.edu/~rander10/Cool%20Guy%20Mias%20001.jpg

Lookout! Seans Rotten Tomato: Wow, almost forgot about the ol' guy. People without good speaking voices. This goes along the line of, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". If you can't communicate in a fashion in which someone else can hear you, then don't say anything at all. I know this sounds ultra-picky, but I have to hear way too many people talk in order to not be angered by this. Honestly, most of the time it just sounds like they are too lazy and stupid to get their own words out correctly. I'm not talking about accents, I'm talking about mumbling and bad verbalization of words. Really hard to explain this to anyone who doesn't talk on the phone all day. But if you do, you know what I mean.
http://www.pete-online.us/cjimages/Buckwheat.jpg

God didn't create doctors for people like me

I just found out that Bea discovered my blog and his influence in it. Or should I say, brain washed me. As I have said earlier, Bea is very good at blogging to his own detriment and you can read his blog at http://thebea.blogspot.com. Don't get too attached and ditch mine though, we bad bloggers need love too. Plus, Bea is a self proclaimed southerner, and if you get too close he might cook and eat your domestic pets.

For a fleeting moment this weekend, I thought about keeping a little notepad on me so I could remember some of the things that might be interesting to write about. The reason why it was fleeting is because that would be taking my blog activities to the next level. In the world of blogs, taking it to the next level is one level too far already. So, untill I disappoint myself again and disregard yet another one of my sacred values, expect my blog to continue to be half-assed.

Another one of my random thoughts left over from the weekend is the possible personal value derived from spewing opinions. To further explain, giving an opinion on a subject that is being argued or is argumentative. The reason why I think of things such as this is because I am always scared and anxious about how I am perceived by the outside world. I believe this to be a very natural and unavoidable element of human nature. Those who think or say that they don't care how they are perceived are wanting to be perceived as someone who doesn't care. Now, for 99% of normal people, we all battle within ourselves our values and our beliefs on a daily basis. How comfortable we are with what we think is normal/right and abnormal/wrong and how comfortable we are with who knows these values and beliefs.

Now; what I was thinking about was the second part of that last sentence. What is the point of offering your opinion on any subject. It is bound to be argued or proven wrong or inapplicable. And if you are too arrogant to think that your opinion can't be argued, proven wrong, or could be inapplicable to the situation, than your brain is insufficient to handle intelligent conversation and you should be put in shackles and thrown to the bottom of a well so you can live in a world devoid of human contact. (It puts the lotion in the basket......http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:DdRANuQIr58J:http://members.tripod.com/~applesaucebrainman/lambs.jpg)

I guess the point of offering an opinion is to appear courageous enough to lay your beliefs and values out for the world to see and disect. In which case I still despise you for being vain enough to think that your values and beliefs are worthy enough to be disected, in which case you better have carefully thought out your opinion cause there is a good chance someone will prove your opinion stupid or illogical, in which case you have a choice to be pig-headed and foolish and not admit that your opinion is wrong or foolish or be humble enough to admit you could be wrong. Now, if you are humble enough to admit your wrong you should be humble enough to keep your trap shut. You can see how I went round and round in circles about this. Basically I feel the risk outweighs the benefits of being opinianted. In fact I see no benefit of offering one. If you are asked to offer one avoid at all costs and definitly do not offer one out of the blue.

On second thought, what a cambells chicken soup and white wonder bread world it would be without people being stupid and arrogant enough to just offer opinions randomly with no regard for how stupid they look. I pity and appreciate you all in the same brain melting thought. In fact, after all of these years of random thoughts, I think my brain may be 90% cambells chicken soup.

PS: I do notice the irony on giving opinions about being opiniated. I was looking for the Ad where the two guys do the dance to the Salt n' Peppa dance, but thought this was more appropriate. (http://www.sprinttvads.com/flashcheck.html?movieID=ad003)

Toe Pick!

Lots of ice in PoVegas today. I could have worn my ice skates to work..seriously. Unfourtunatly I can not think of ice skates without thinking of some of the major ice skating movies of my youth. These include "The Cutting Edge" and "The Mighty Ducks". The mighty ducks was a serious ninja turtle syndrome movie. Check Bea's blog for more info on that. Some other NTS movies for me included: Indiana Jones, Back to the Future 2, and Batman (micheal keaton version). I refuse to be ashamed of it.

Back to the ice movies because that is the theme of the day. Now, I have a little sister who is psycho to those who really know her. Some examples of her insanity include: Video Taping every episode of Friends, The Rosey O'Donnell Show, and something else I can't remember. Cutting out thousands of celebrity photos from People magazine and Scotch-Taping them to the walls of her bedroom untill they created wall to ceiling wallpaper on all 4 walls of peoples faces. Very Very Creepy. There are many more examples but this just to give you an idea of where we are going here. She also had a selection of maybe 4 movies that she watched constantly. I can't remember all of them but 2 that stick out in my mind are; The Sound of Music, and The Cutting Edge. I have seen both 20 times.

Now in a house with one TV and one VCR, we had to share time. So, a lot of times it was either watch girly bullshit or count the number of paisleys in the carpet downstairs. Not being a fan of paisley or math, I watched the movie more often than not. This movie is one of the foundations of my dillusional opinions on women. A quick rundown for you: "Doug" a minor league Hockey player with pro potential gets badly injured and can't play hockey anymore. Goes into depression and becomes a drunk, a downward spiral. Cut to "Kate" and olympic hopeful who can't seem to get along with any of her male partners because shes a vicious bitch. A true "Ice Queen", pun intended and how ironic. Somehow her coach brings these two togethor and hilarity and romance ensues...of course. Doug needs Kate-Kate needs Doug etc etc

The title of this blog comes from that movie and is the defining statement of the movie. Apparently that little funny scraper thing on the front of figure skates is called a "toe pick". Doug, never seeing a toe pick before, makes fun of its appearance and possible effectiveness and the name of it in order to have some sort of defense against the consistently cold, nagging, know it all Kate. Anyway, it does serve a purpose in keeping some stabilization I guess in a couple of figure skating moves. Everytime Dougs falls down nearly killing himself, Kate yells out, "Toe Pick!" with no regard for his condition. The reason why this lead to some of my dillusions regarding women is that eventually Kate softens and realizes Doug is a good guy and that if she lets love in her heart, she will be a much happier person. Doug realizes that shes actually a nice person underneath her hard exterior and very caring and loving. A little irony happens when Doug gets much better at figure skating and Kate falls and Doug jokingly says "Toe Pick!"

In real life....95% of ice queen bitches will always be ice queen bitches. Women always think they can change men, and it never works, a well known fact. However, because of this movie forming some of my youth, I never knew that the same applied to women. A stone cold ice bitch will always be a stone cold ice bitch and yell something out like "Toe Pick!" when your head is gushing on the ice. She's not going to soften either. She may trick you into thinking that shes a nice person and she may even want to be a nice person deep down inside. However, in most cases, that ice around her heart is formed for good. There was some sort of ice age for a million years in her past and that glacier is permant. No global warming is making that go away. You'll need a TNT concoction of Therapy/Narcostics/Tons of Patience to put a dent in that ice. Not 3 months of twirling on a frozen pond. Effin girl movies screwed me twice! I had to watch them when I was younger and they ruined my subconscious.

They probably didn't show that after Kate got her gold medal, she told Doug to go get himself a drink and she'll call him again in 4 years.

have a holly jolly.....

It's coming.....and you can't ignore it. Even if there is something that you hate about the holidays, and we all do, there is something about them that everyone likes guaranteed. Time off from something you hate. I think this is the true spirit of Christmas. Its one of those major holidays that everyone recognizes; and what better way to celebrate than..."screw you guys, I'm goin home". Everyone give a shout out to hayzeus for giving you a break right when you need it. When it's cold and your family won't leave you alone, your job has all kinds of shitty decorations up, and everyone you see is wearing a sweater that look like vomit. Not to mention the songs that are on all the freakin time that you were sick of the minute they started playing them on October 1st. I can't think of any better way to celebrate than to sleep in for about a week and do nothing but get through the 2 hrs of family time you are responsible for and to soak in "paid time-off" Isn't that beautiful? Can you think of a better present than to sit there and get paid for it? Some companies even give Christmas bonuses; extra money to stay home! Not my company, but the thought of it makes me happy with the true spirit of christmas.

I think I may be getting sick. I'm not sure yet because I usually over-medicate at the first sign of feeling a bit off. Here's some of the evidence; my workouts are going like shit and the most telling....I'm not the least bit hungry. I would eat every waking moment of the day if I could, I could be violently throwing up and I still could go for a hamburger or a donut. So when I don't feel a hunger pang every 5 minutes, I know life isn't jazzy in margaritaville. We'll see I guess, could be just a 24 hour thing. Which leads me to one of new favorite medications. Alka-Seltzer, never really used it before, but it is a great product. Settles your stomach and has aspirin in it to releave pain. Tell your pharmacist I sent ya.

Seans Rotten Tomato: Marketing drones. Now we all hate telemarketers, excpet for me because I understand their plight, but there is breed out there which makes up about 50% of the population. These are the people who actually walk into offices to sell stuff. Now, if your energetic about what you are selling, I'll respect you. The answer is still no, but thanks for stepping up to the plate. I hate the ones who are persistent but have the personality of a peice of stale white toast. They have a tone to their voice which sounds like they are about to fall asleep on your feet and make no attempt whatsoever to conceal that they are reading from a script. That may be fine for over the phone with someone who doesn't speak english, but these are real live americans with clothes on and real jobs driving real cars in your building. These are supposed to be the super telemarketers and instead they make me feel sorry for them and their existence. Now, this is either a ploy to make me feel sorry for them (I do not feel sorry for anyone who has a paying job) or they hate their job so much that they don't care as long as they get paid. Either way, it makes me angry. Walk off a bridge and leave me alone for christs sake.

There is no you, there is only me

Bea is much better at blogging than I am. He is very creative, has a good vernacular, organizes thoughts, opinions, and arguments coherently with adequate foundations for his beliefs, and knows what is interesting (sometimes). That being said, I do not consider this a positive quality and next time I see Bea, I'm gonna give him a swirley.

It's snowing a wicked googily out there today. I only enjoy the really big storms because it adheres(sp?) to one of my finer qualties. Being absolutely absurd for no reason. However, being absurd is not that much fun unless it annoys someone else. The easiest way to do this is to pretend like you don't feel your actions are absurd at all. This really only annoys the most self rightious people which are the types of people that I hate the most. An example for you:

I got caught throwing water balloons out my 7th floor window at my RA and Security Guards, both of whom are the most self-rightous people on campus. They eventually spotted me. Now, I was upset that I got caught and scared of the consequences. However, my mission would not stop there. When they pounded on my door like they were the ATF on a drug bust. I casually answered the door with a "oh man, I nailed your asses!" They were dumbfounded at first, and then really really angry that I was not scared of them or be ashamed by my actions. Whether or not I got a harsher punishment because of this I don't know, but it was definitly worth it. Which leads me to.........

Seans Rotten Tomato:
People who talk to you when you are working out. I'm not going to apologize for being some kind of meat head here because this is not some random rule that only gym rats know. This is just general idiocy on the deepest social level. If someone doesn't make eye contact with you and you are standing right next to him/her. Him/Her does not want to talk to you. If said person who is not making eye contact with you, is sweating profusely and grunting, they definitly do not want to talk to you. This goes beyond stupid and into arrogant foolishness/disregard of social norms. Assholes who have no idea that they are assholes, do things like this, because their brain is clogged with their own feces. Assholes that deserve to get pelted from 7 stories by a waterballoon.

Anyways back to being absurd and why i love giant snowstorms.......because I have an SUV and can get to a lot of the things I like to do on normal days. So when everyone is freaking out, I casually do the same stuff I always do. The most self-rightous ones who stay in and change all their plans are the ones who are most annoyed by people such as myself. These are the ones who are loading 500 loaves of bread in their car and 20 bags of road salt, telling the latest weather report they heard in exasperation to everyone not making eye contact with them.

got 99 problems.....

did you ever catch your mind wandering from one abstract thought to another like a virused hard-drive? Moving from serious topics such as "If at this one moment, I had done A instead of B, how radically different would my life be?" to something meaningless like "why isn't there NFL football on everyday of the week?" Like instantaneously, like a freakin pop-up for lower travel fares. I guess its just because I am either much dumber or smarter than most people (leaning towards dumber)

Thinking about my previous blog post and how people shouldn't complain on them. I am giving that up and will now shift to including in every post the one thing that is annoying me recently. It's what blogs are for, so who am I to have a blog and then not complain on it? 90% of my job is customer service, so it's a major part of my life and if I don't vent it in a artistic fashion, my head may explode. It has to have a snazzy title so you can look for it in future postings. A title that can really cut glass..... Something like........"Seans Rotten Tomato" ....... shut up, I came up with it on the fly.

Todays rotten tomato: The dreaded senior discount. Without fail, I get one call a day about someone who didn't get a senior discount. Not only are they wasting the 1 month they have left to live, they are taking away 1 month of my life in the rage that I supress to keep from screaming politically incorrect obscenities over the phone. Now, you may think that my company has a problem with giving out senior discounts. Not true. It is clearly stated that if we have to bill you instead of being paid at the time of service, that there are no discounts. So if you call up to complain about a no senior discount on your bill you are either A) retarded B)can't read C) being dishonest and trying to get a break based on the fact that you are old. Not to mention, we are talkaing about 5-10 dollars of discount. Why hasn't someone come up with a way to send debilitating electric current through the phone?

A thought that I am not sure what category it falls under. On my way to work, I saw one of those assholes who ruined their car with 5 million bumper stickers. One said, "why is there always money for war, but never enough for food?" I wanted ask why she had money for a 5 million bumper stickers, but not enough to send to the united way. Doesn't everyone know that you look like an asshole with bumper stickers on your car? I guess not....You know what else makes you look like an asshole? Having a blog and constantly quoting movies

Focker Out...

since when?

It seems like everyday I get at least one phone call from someone trying to bargain with me over the price of a service call. Since when is it okay to bargain on anything besides used cars? I love when they try to guilt trip me too. "It's really cold in here" "I've got young kids" blah blah blah. I'm a compassionate guy, but I don't call up a pizza place and say "I'm really hungry, but all I have is 5 dollars, can I still get a pie" because it's just stupid and I couldn't live with myself. If you can't pay for something, you can't pay for something and you don't get the something. Thats the effin rule. Don't call and complain to some poor sap that you really want it, but you can't pay for it, and that it's not fair. It seems like a concept you learn when you're in kindergarten, but I guess 1 out of every 10 people don't operate on that level and the rest of society has to clean their dirty diapers for them. Shouldn't be surprising to me I guess that it happens, it just seems like there is a lot more than I previously thought.

I wonder if at least 95% of blogs are just people complaining about the stupid random stuff in their life just to feel like someone cares about their problems. I bet they are and I know that you don't. I'm gonna try not to complain anymore and no one has to care about any of the stuff I write here or feel sorry for me. My job rules to tell you the truth and I actually enjoy telling the customers they ain't getting shit and that they'll like it.

One thing about life that I've noticed is that it's not as much hard as it is dealing with different levels of annoyance. If you're willing to put up with a lot of annoying shit, then you'll be succesfull and most people just focus on dealing with how annoying their life is in order to make money or get what they think they need. I on the other hand would rather deal with my conceived notions of what I need and be bothered as little as possible. Sounds like a slacker mentallity and in some way it is. However, I like to think of it as a more advanced, enlightened, and healthy outlook. I'd bet I live to be a hundred. I'll bet you a million dollars......

holy blog batman!

I am ashamed of myself (again). I have a blog, but it's all Alex Beas fault. Bea can also be blamed for the spread of AIDS to North America, bongo drums and fleas at Marist, and the fall of the Roman Empire. Bea is responsible for many bad things as you can see.

Will this blog stand the test of time? I don't know if I have enough creative juice in my melon to do more than one post, but I'll give it the ol' college try. However, my ol' college try is much less effort than you may be used to, so don't expect too much after this post......and in this post.

So some guy got shot right up the street from where I work. I parked my car right in front of the candles that were left in memory of him. Is that wrong? Anyone that knows me, knows that I'll park on an infant if I can save a few steps to where I am going, so consider my recent park job mild on the "SVC scale of parking" Mild: no parking signs, fire lanes, reserved spaces Medium: other peoples driveways, in front of driveways, on sidewalks in front of businesses Spicey: On lawns, in church gardens, school paygrounds, in the middle of an intersection. XTRA Spicey: In front of emergency room entrances, on top of other people, on top of pets, in other peoples garages with car left running, graveyards.

Thats all for now, but I'll try to keep throwing the useless garbage thats in my head on your lawn. One mans trash is anothers treasure. Don't you feel lucky?