I hate me too

No, I am not dead or seriously injured, but I was almost killed, by salmonella. I have had food poisening one other time and it was the worst experience I have ever been through over 7 days. This time it took just as long, but it didn't feel like my insides were getting roto-rootered by steel coated pipe cleaner. The lesson is....don't eat stadium food for the first time and the second time is to make sure you cook your poultry to 180 degrees in the center, not just till its white. March and April are the busiest months in my schedule, so be prepared for more sparse posting, but I won't let you down for too long. Like an ugly lover, I am only a disappointment to you when you really think about it, not in the heat of sweet ugg-o love.......okay when you think about it, and when we're in public holding hands....
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That said, we are moving on. I am going to finish these album reviews if I have to take till 2009, and then we can all get on with our miserable lives which by that point may or may not include reading my miserable blog. I have no more motivation to write them, and you probably have even less to read them, but gosh darnit I have to finish something sometime? There has to be some kind of order in cyber space and I'm going to do my part.

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Alright here we go, onto the TOP 5 now.....hahaha this really is a joke of how long this is taking me compared to how long I thought it would. Didn't this start as a before the end of January mission? Kind of like how iTunes takes 30 minutes to download and update the software and month after month, nothing changes. What's up with that? What alien technology are you installing on my computer 15 times a year? iTunes hasn't changed in 4 years and its on like version 1004.5. It's a fear campaign really. I am so scared of what could happen to my music if I don't update, I diligently upgrade with urgency and without question. Damn you Steve Jobs.
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The good news is, I am firmly on my way to a new set of wheels. It will certainly be murdered out if I can, once I figure out the cost of tastefully doing such a thing and if it is feesable.
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NUMBER 5: Jimmy Eat World "Chase this Light" Jimmy eat World is one of my favorite, non-favorite bands. I have all their albums, love to listen to their songs at anytime, but I can't seem to put them in the top level of my pantheon. I have no idea why, but maybe its because their songs are so simple-minded and so easy to listen to. The same thing happens with me with every album they make. I buy it, listen to the whole thing over and over again about 20 times, then sparsely listen again.

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To me, they are like the food equivalent of Pizza. You love pizza, you could eat pizza anytime, and you like lots of different toppings, shapes and sizes (albums) of pizza. You know exactly what pizza entails no matter where you order it from. When someone says, "lets go out for pizza" you are definitly in. But are you thinking about pizza day in and day out? No. When you are looking for a special meal, is pizza involved? No.

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But great pizza is great pizza, and there is nothing more clutch after a hard day. Safe, reliable, and easy to make, pizza is your consistent meal no matter what time of day. Even for breakfast!

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That said, Jimmy does not disappoint on this album. Its all good from track 1 to track 11. There isn't much exploring in sound done on this album, just a fresh version of the same jimmy sound. It's pizza right? Get the basics down, explore a little bit with the toppings and spices to give a fresh look and taste, and whammy everyone is happy. The weird thing about this particular album, is that I am not super happy with the way that any of the songs start. But somehow about 30-45 seconds in, every single track develops into a fantastic classic Jimmy song.

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The lyrics are always good. The most under-rated part about this band that makes them a signature favorite is the way in which lead singer Jim Adkins backgrounds his own voice with the backup vocals of his own band, and manages to pump them out at different volumes to match perfectly with the instrumentation. Aggressive yearning is his specialty and he has many layers of his voice to make it work perfectly with the fast strumming punkish guitar. Combined they create a really pleasing punk light or heavy emo. You take your pick.

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Song Samples: Big Casino, Like She'll Always Be, Carry You

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The talent is long lasting, not everlasting

Sometimes coming up with material to write about is hard. Well actually, the problem is that coming up with the thoughts is not neccessarily hard, but designing a coherent way to convey it. I have thousands of thoughts every day and sometimes I record them, but that is not good enough to create an entire paragraph on. I find myself in a connundrum of running out of writing talent or maybe, running out of easy talent and it puts a nice little damper on my posting frequency.

However, any idiot knows that any effort is better than no effort at all, so just writing about my writing is the solution. Like the title says, "the talent is long lasting, not everlasting".

I never understood what people feared about Willy Wonka and the ol chocolate factory. I know the oompa loompas are creepy, and the river boat trip with the slide show of oompa loompa land is a little scary, but we live in a real world of many small orange people and places that are awful (two words: Lindsay Lohan and New Jersey) If you can't face your fears and persevere onward, you won't make it very far. You can't push the stop button on the VCR of Life.

One of my favorite treats of all time is a donut and coffee to dunk it in. Not just for the taste, which is fabulous, but for the fact that the coffee soaks the donut down so you can pound it in 1/4 of the time of a dry donut. That way not many people catch me in the fatness zone.

A few tips on how to shave like a champion.
1) stop using cheap shaving cream. We live in a world of wonderous variety and superior technology, stop buying the same thing as your dad does. The creamier the cream, the better. A good test is that your skin should feel lotioney after the razor drags across it. It should have a thick consistency and spread out thickly over the surface like icing on a cake. Personally, I use Aveeno Cream

2)less is better. The longer the hair, the softer the root is and it will shave smoother away. If you need to shave everyday, you should use electric. Don't wait too long though, otherwise the hair is too long and will clog and yank out instead of cut. Personally, its every 7 days for me.

3)sharpness is key. A blade gets 2 face shaves per use or one set of legs shaves. Use disposable razors, they are cheap and well designed these days. An expensive razor does nothing for you if you try to extend the life of the blades past its effectiveness because they cost a lot to replace. Personally I use Shick Slim Twins

4) Moisturization and Alcohol. A must after every shave. The alcohol insures proper hair regrowth by preventing infection and the moisturization keeps the skin soft and moisturizes the new skin layers so they surface properly. You don't need fantastic expensive lotion, but a good lotion used frequently. Personally I use Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion.

........No, YOU'RE A FAG!

The internet will never be perfect to me until I can easily find exactly what I want.

The internet will always be on my good side while I can still get access to things like this, this, and this.

The two best comedians I saw specials on last year were Jim Gaffigan and Louis CK.........not Dane Cook.

Alright, S.Vincent over and OUT!

This post written while listening to: Jimmy Eat World "Futures"