Teenage Wasteland

Fe-mullet Cashier Lady: "wait Sherry, wait take that back out.....no not that.....the cold medicine"
.
Sherry (the bagging girl): "why?"
.
Fe-mullet Cashier Lady: "I have check it and then re-scan it"
.
Sherry: "what happened, was the price wrong?"
.
Fe-mullet Cashier Lady: "No, it needs to be checked cause I have to verify that he's 18"
.
Sherry: "you need to be 18 to buy medicine now?"
.
Fe-mullet Cashier Lady: "Yeah, kids abuse medicine to get high I guess. Sounds like fun huh? "
.
S. Vincent : "That's ironic because when I feel like having fun......... I abuse kids"
.
................awkward silence.............

This post written while listening to: Voxtrot "Firecracker"

Storms a brewin'!

I meant to write this post yesterday. The Hudson Valley/Po-Vegas region was supposed to get pounded with snow and the much anticipated Mitchell Report involving the baseball steroid issue was going to come out. So there was a literal and figurative "storm" on the horizon.

We all know I love snow storms and more than the snowstorm, the people who freak out about the snow storms. This is a little confusing for anyone but me to understand, but when comes to inclimate weather I always think of one statement made by my co-worker regarding our office bathroom, which has a scary appearance to the untrained eye.

"Oh Man, don't go in there or your ASS WILL FALL OFF!"

Co-workers and guests discuss the bathroom with a mythical lore as though it was some kind of Rob Zombie come to life movie. You have to see him say it, cause thats what adds the extra funny to the statement, but I can never get it out of my head when it comes to over-exagerations regarding anything. The bathroom is very small, has a scary clown picture in it, is painted a weird color of blue, has cracked ugly vinyl tiles, and a pull chain light. But it is clean and the toilet flushes.

However, I went home early cause I will take any excuse to go home early. I still don't have a monitor at the home base, so this post didn't get done on time. I haven't really missed the monitor till that day when there was literally nothing I could do but take a nap and wash some dishes. All the gyms in the area closed early so I couldn't get my evening workout in. That always makes me antsy, so I ended up driving around actually. It kept the snow from building on my car and gave me something interesting to do. I drove past the movie theatre but there was only a handful of cars and I wasn't convinced that they were open.

How much of my christmas shopping have I done? Zero. Most disturbing is that unlike the past christmasses where I have procrastinated on this; I have no idea what to get anyone on my list. Suggestions of plain ol' awesome things under 150 bucks would be greatly appreciated.

I was looking at one of my new favorite internet obsessions and came up with a very appropriate lifestyle card for me and Grzy; My partner in human rights and society crimes.

This post written while listening to: Rogue Wave "Lake Michigan"

Death of a Legend...

This has been coming for a long time, but that doesn't mean you could be prepared for it at anytime. She survived countless parties, close calls, storms, heavy burdens, cold winters, stifling summers, reckless NYC drivers, and slow-going senior citizens with no regard for life or society.

She was imperfect from day one. Her sound system didn't work and wouldn't work, her cell phone technology was outdated almost immedeatly, her air suspension was downright dangerous, her headlights collected moisture, and her tires and drivers seat were recalled. She would nag you incessently when your gas tank dipped below half a tank that she was "LOW ON FUEL!!!!"

Her radiator thermostat broke on a 10 hour trip back from Canada, but she protected me on a fog out at 90mph at 3am on the way to Canada. She got a flat tire on the way to the gym during the hottest day of the summer, but her heavy studded tires saved me from numerous snow banks while racing to the gym in Nor'easters. Her over-flared fenders got cracked on my building driveway, but she survived getting backed into by over anxious rowers without a scratch.

Her death was unceremonious considering her life. She did not die slamming into the back of yet another senior citizen taking 30 seconds to make a right hand turn. She did not die crashing through a chain that boathouse security leaves up. She did not die spinning out of control on an snowy road. She did not die while redlining to outrun a state trooper or on a cold rainy evening with a attractive female riding shotgun and Jeff Buckely on the radio.

She died pulling out of a parking space.....

Just one trip too many on the ol' wheels I guess. The wheels were asked to turn to straighten out on the gym parking lot, and the wheels said "no mas" with a steely gunfire crack. She would not drive one more foot.

The doctors put her down this monday.

So there will be no more shouting profanities at school children on hot september days because the AC doesn't work. No more chuckling at stop lights while people try to figure out "what the hell that rattling sound is". No more free oakley advertising and no more excuses for "taking your car". No more staring at the constant "Check Engine" light, or talking to potential terrorist to get a NYS inspection sticker.

She sure lived up to the Ford "Exploder" stereo-type. Even though she gave me nothing but grief, it is said that Henry Ford would give you no grief that you couldn't bare. So maybe I deserved all the trouble that she gave me, but I certainly gave her more than she could handle in return.

So I win, but I will miss that biotch.......

This post written while listening to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Maps"

Save the Planet, Kill Yourself

I saw this on a bumper sticker the other day. I am not a big fan of putting a political/funny message on a car, but if I had to pick one for my own car, this would be it. It's more complex than its harsh exterior. First; "Kill Yourself" is one of my favorite statements from college. It can be used in a variety of situations. Like "dude" or "f$ck", it depends on its inflection.

.

It can be used to express apathy at a friends situation; "I just realized I have to buy 500 dollars worth of books" "oh man, kill yourself".

.

It can also be used in a situation to poke fun at a friends light-hearted misfourtune;"I was walking home from the library, and I got stuck talking to that annoying girl I made out with last weekend" "hahaha, kill yourself".

.

It can also be used to express frustration with someone (usually a peer) "That guy was blabbering on and on about his cool car and these girls he met, and the entire time I was thinking, dude, kill yourself"

.

But this bumper sticker tags "Kill Yourself" along with a common political tag line. "Save the Planet" is usually followed by a certain action that the possesor of the sticker feels is the most important way to save said planet, i.e. buy Organic, don't eat meat, plant a tree, impeach bush, ride a bike, etc etc etc.

.

Does the possessor of the kill yourself sticker believe that killing oneself is a way to save energy, and reduce waste? That would be a true statement. Less people means less waste and less of a demand for energy. Or, is the possessor of the sticker asking those who make political statements regarding thier views on saving the planet to kill themselves? They are rather annoying and usually posses an attitude that they are "holier than thou". Or; is the possessor a genocidal maniac who would like nothing more than the extinction of the entire human race but himself in order to have eternal peace and the entire world would be his personal space to do with as he please? People; political or not, annoy this person and he would like nothing better for them all to die, but by the means of killing themselves, so he doesn't have to get his hands or conscience dirty.

.

There are so many different interpretations as you can see. But the reason I would like it, is that I like to be outrageous for the sake of being outrageous, and confusing for the sake of being confusing. Plus, most of the time I am driving I am in an angry "kill yourself" mode anyway........so that's that.

.

I was feeling slightly guilty, but I have not been the only one not posting as much this time of year. My RSS feeder has been surprisingly inactive this time of year. I think it's because us bloggers are attention whores. Unfourtunatly, we are also nerds who are ignored by our loved ones on a daily basis except for one time of the year.......Thanksgiving to New Years. The time when our loved ones reach out to all members of the family based on guilt or keeping a facade of happy times. Even us Rudolphs get called back to be a part of the family reindeer games......till January 2nd anyway.

.

Us bloggers will be back then, when winter is at its finest hour and we are depressed and fat and lonely and in need of a little attention. So hang in there internet surfers, the waves may be small, but the ocean is always at it calmest just before the storm.......

.

This post written while listening to: "ageless beauty" -Stars