Bless me father, for I have sinned

I have to admit a strange fetish. No, its not necrophilia or whips and chains or feet.......

I wanna see what's in your fridge......

I know, it's very strange, but I can't help it. I've sought help, but then the doctor said something like "we'll talk about that after you let me put my fingers in your colon to check for blah blah" I stopped listening and walked out of the office cause he wasn't going to help me. No one can.

For some, its the medicine cabinet, but that doesn't really rev my engine. I will look in there, perhaps borrow your tweezers and do a little manscaping, or check what type of toothpaste you use if I feel your teeth are spectacular, but otherwise it's an un-exciteable enterprise for me. If you are messed up, there's a good chance I have already considered what drugs you should be on or are currently on anyway, and I don't need to see a box of laxatives to confirm my suspicion that you are constipated. I can tell that by asking your thoughts on a spontaneous ab workout session.

But the medicine cabinet is for amateurs. You can close and lock the door in the bathroom and no one would ever know you looked in there. I prefer a much more personal item of the home.

Ahhhhh, the sensation of discovering treasure stored at a delicious 34-38 degrees. So many exotic and exciting items lie just behind that insulated door. With a pull of the handle that peels the rubber strip air locking the treasure; the barrier between me and your most personal items is broken.

So many things to observe. Things such as cheese preferences, condiment selection, fruit choices, milk location. How full is the fridge? How many of each item is there? Are they running low on eggs? Do they refrigerate their bread? How fresh are the leftovers? WHAT are the leftovers? Do they know you don't have to refrigerate peanut butter?

And those are just a few of the questions I may have about you that can be answered in just 20 seconds of me getting inside your refrigerator. Or as I like to call it, the window of your SOUL.

How much junk food is there? Are you getting enough fiber? Do you use light salad dressing? How important is soda to your diet? Are there many organic items? Is there anything with mold on it? What brand of pasta sauce do you like? Do you have a lot of raw ingredients or do you have a lot of processed stuff?

Ohhhhhhh golly.......I am in heaven inside your fridge. My favorite part of MTV's cribs is when they show you what's in their fridge. The only way it could be better was if the celebrity didn't know we were looking in there. Can you imagine? That way they couldn't change it and you would know exactly their innermost secrets and needs.

And thus, this is why I sneak a peek.....I need it.......just a quick one.....I swear......you won't even know I did it.