I pull up to the front of your driveway, with magic soakin my spine.....

Can you read my mind?

I thought of a really funny joke to play on the morning of the fourth of July. Here's the dilly: you set off a large firework (M-80, cherry bomb, general tso's chicken fart) INSIDE the house. Can you imagine the reaction? Think about a large explosion inside a house when everyone is alseep. It'd be off da hook, yo

Of course, you have to handle such immature genius professionally, or it's not that funny. You should pull the gag inside a house with more than 2-3 people since a group dynamic is necessary for such hijinx. I find that people are much more accepting of sillyness when there is lots of people than when it is just you and one person. They take it personally if its just the 2 of you. To start, you will need some sort of container to house the firework such as a old paint can, an old cooking pot, or a bucket. Next, it will have to be early, but not too early, sometime in the window of 7am-830am, so as not to make people too annoyed with a loss of sleep. Then you have to get your voice warmed up for the post explosion announcement: "HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY EVERYBODY!!!". I see people falling out of beds, people screaming in fear, and running around in silly sleep garments, utter chaos. I'm giddy at the thought of doing this in 2008 so you better try to remember not to invite me to your house.

There is this young fat kid named Batman who sent me this video a long time ago. He is a little messed up in the head, and I am a whole lot messed up in the head, so we enjoy cinema like this. It's a patriotic video, so I figured I'll leave it up for the whole week. If you don't like it, you don't like America, and I'll kill you cause it says I can in the constitution....Punk!

HBO (one of my 3 favorite channels) has a new show called Flight of the Conchords that is really funny. I know that they have been out as a comedy act for quite a while, so spare me the smug "I knew about them before you did" garbage. I am just saying that the show is good, so if you like Flight of the Conchords or don't know anything about them, watch the show. It's available on the orgasmic ON-DEMAND feature and plays new episodes on Sunday nights I think.

"so how about them yankees?" is an easy way to request a stabbing from S.Vincent.

I will be following up on the Mr. Quick story soon. I have been a little helter skelter this whole week with all the prank planning, hot dog contest eating, and fantasy baseball managing duties, so keep your peepers checking back regularly.

This post written while listening to: Collective Soul "7even year Itch"