I didn't forget it, I lost it

So I was looking at some of my older posts today and I realized that this blog has been an example of the slow downward spiral of my intelligence. I used to be witty, eloquent, insightful with orginal ideas and expressions. Now, I am getting my kicks out of poop jokes and mass marketed humor. Where did it all go wrong, where did my brain go? It seems like the pictures may have gotten the best of me for a time there. I spent more time finding visual stimulation and it has taken away from my content development. Back in the day (december) this blog used to be about the uncommon observation and indignant rants, intelligently expressed. Now, it's just a more sophisticated version of ebaumsworld. For shame! I have dishonered myself! My self punishment will be to video tape myself and let my ego suffer the realization that I am no where as cool as I think I am.

Anywho, hopefully less pictures and more content for you. I am truly sorry for the damage your brain has had to endure for the past month or so. I hope your other online reading was more enjoyable and picked up the slack that I produced. If you are feeling disgruntled, you can check out some of my older posts from December, January and some of February. I don't guarantee the pics work because that was a long time ago by the internet clock.

I think I might have officially crossed into the "I own too much crap" zone. The way I can tell is that I forget what I have and where I left it last. My camera was misplaced for a good 24 hours before I realized that I left it in a different bag. I misplace one of 5000 pairs of shoes all the time. I believe this lack of attention to these items comes from the fact that I have just too many material items occupying my thoughts and thus some get missplaced. I never had this problem when I was broke. I blame the media, they make me fell as though I need all of these items when in reality I don't. I used to live the life of a priest minus the same-sex underage molestation, now I think I am some kind of a rock star who can live a disposable lifestyle. I am a rock star, but not a stupid wasteful rockstar.

Ruh Roh! Seans Rotten Tomato (haha rhymes and everything)....... Hey! Remember Me?!?! I almost forgot about the current "sticks in my craw" responsibility. We had a ton of posts fly by without even one complaint. Todays rotten tomato is story repeaters. These are people who wait for conversations on a topic and then once they can identify with the subject matter they tell the story of how/what they did in the scenario. They are like bad comedians who have only one routine but perform it the same way over and over and over again with all the same enthusiasm. It makes me angry, especially more than twice. Same catch phrases and punch lines and lofty attitude. I'm a nice guy so I don't say: "hey rain man! you already told me the story of how you are an excellent driver, SHUT THE EFF UP!!"; But I want to.....

If you have a song between you and your significant other, please keep it to yourself, you're making the rest of us sick everytime we hear "your song"

No Pics, DEAL WITH IT!
This Post Written while listening to: Duran Duran "The Wedding Album"

Company......HALT!

I would just like a share a moment with you that made my monday. I was driving my normal route to work when I came up behind a homeless man carrying his umbrella, (see: stick with a plastic bag on top) as I approached he pulled a military gun twirl using his umbrella as his rifle. Dead Serious in his demeanor. Gotta love Po-Vegas. What happens in Po-Vegas, Stays in the liver for 30-60 days.

So they are re-doing the stop and shop near my house. At first, I was upset cause everything was in the wrong aisles and my trip time went from 30 mins to like 45 while I made circles around the place, like an old woman looking to save 5 cents on bread. Now, as I see the progress, I think this stop and shop is going to be the place to be. I might just start hanging out there full time. Theres going to be starbucks for my caffiene addiction and they got a new bank with a fresh load of skank tellers. Boo Yah, you heard it here first.

I know why my mom never wanted me to watch MTV. She was right. There, I said it.

If was to admit to one weakness, it would be that I am too nice and too eager to please. This makes me especially succeptable to people looking for handouts. I hate doing it, but somehow I am always just handing out my money to anyone who asks. I hope all this karma I am building up comes back to re-pay me with 40 virgins or something because right now all it has gotten me is a lack of respect from anyone I know. Oh well, maybe jesus respects me.......hmmmm. Anyone?, Anyone?

I know gas prices are awful and all, but why the lines at the places where its 3 cents cheaper? With a 20 gallon tank, filled all the way, you save 60 cents. Was that really worth the out of way trip and the 15 minute wait? Seriously, fricken idiots, stop wasting all your time trying to save pennies. They probably put sand in that cheap gas anyway.

With all this warm weather, I am inclined to start a petition to outlaw the manufacture of spandex and thongs in sizes L or bigger.

This Post Written while listening to: Jack's Mannequin "Everything in Transit"

Hip Hop is not Easter Music

I always considered Easter one of those reluctant holidays. Maybe "The" reluctant holiday. I know when I was younger, I was always VERY reluctant to get in Easter Clothes. Some of the other reluctant days include Labor Day, Memorial Day, Presidents Day, Easter, Columbus Day, Arbor Day (waiiit, holiday for trees?). I like it, but I get into a non-holiday work groove and I don't really like to break out of it. I think we all know my feelings on temporary change. It seems like with all the other Non-Work type holidays that easter is just kind of jammed in there. It should be moved over next to fourth of July so we can have an end of the year session (Thank-XMas-NYE) and a middle of the year session (Memorial-Easter-Ind.Day-Labor Day). I just wish we could all agree on 4 complete weeks off per year in which we could celebrate all our holidays in. 2 in December and 2 in July. It just seems like the real holidays are never long enough and the cheesy ones are always too-long. We should change that.

I think other people feel this way too and maybe they just don't want to admit it. Mayyyyyybe not. There are a lot of religious people out there still, and I'm not in the mood to be crucified over a blog for saying that Easter is kind of a useless holiday. Lets drop it before Jesus rembers all the meat I had on the past number of Fridays and makes me more fat and useless than I already am.

Is it just me, or has the car industry taken us(the consumer) hostage? They and the banks offer all kinds of financing programs to get us into new cars and somehow pay them money for cars that we don't need. Everyone buys new now, and there are no cars on the road anymore more than 5 years old, and 5000 used cars for sale. Definitly smarter to buy a used car these days, and it seems like a tremendous waste pattern going on in the US. Whatever happened to buying a car and running her until she dies. Am I bitter because this is what I have to do? Ummmm, YES! (not the awesome Yankees Network, but a confirmation of the question) In the long run I know I am much better off financially, but that doesn't mean that I don't want a sweet new ride.

Isn't it the best thing ever when a package that you order online comes like 3 days earlier than expected? I nearly did a little office dance the other day because my much needed contacts came that way. When my online "Skank Apparel" store goes mainstream, I am going to send out e-mails to the customers that say at least one week for delivery when it is actually only going to be 3 days. I'll have the most return-skanks in all of online retail. Plus, it gives me the ability to screw up a little and still get the packages out on the expected delivery time.

Are people who move to New Jersey ashamed to get that yellow plate on their car? Isn't it bad enough that you have to LIVE in NJ, without having to advertise the fact? Its like walking out of the pharmacy with a sandwhich board that says: "I just picked up Herpes Medication"

This Post Written While listening to: Nine Inch Nails "With Teeth"

Spring cleaning

Well it's warmer in the lower Hudson Valley these days and that means we should be on our way to spring. Luke warm tempratures, yuppies with convertable tops down, bikers on their harleys and crotch-rockets, and college kids feeling justified in wearing the sandels they wore all winter anyway.

I thought now would be a good time to do some spring cleaning on my blog notebook with some of the ideas I left behind in the winter. Disappointed? Angry? Feeling Cheated? Well, call my supervisor. Oh waiiiiit......

I remember back in the day when I thought SUV's were going to be just a fad and they would look as silly to us in the future as an El Camino or a wood paneled station wagon. That was about 12 years ago. How am I doing on that prediction?

I think one of the most annoying things ever is when a pen doesn't work and you are in a rush to get something down on a peice of paper like a phone number or directions or something. You just keep making little circles trying to get it to start and you keep pressing on the tip harder and harder untill you scratch little circles into the paper. Or how about when it writes for half a stroke and then goes blank. I want to SCREAM.

If every area in the country has a different zip code, why do we need to write down cities and states? Stop jerking me around USPS.

I think hang gliding is the most under-rated scary dangerous sport around. It looks calm and peacefull like anyone can do it. But, it's like base jumping with a parachute that only works sometimes. How is this not banned? It is sooo dangerous when you think about it. I wonder what the stats are on people killed/seriously maimed from hang gliding over the number of attempts?

I love baseball on the radio. Its the perfect thing to listen to while you are working or driving on a long trip. You can go anywhere with the game. Even the grocery store. I'm listening to it right NOW. Isn't it great? How I suck you right into my moment? Or just suck.... You might think that John Sterling sucks, but I like his corney stuff. Sad stuff when Bob Sheppard didn't announce the opening day game. But I guess Yankees fans better get used to it, hes not going to be around forever.

Turbo Hot at Dunkin Donuts may bring the franchise back into the mainstream, if it is marketed better. I'm still pissed Krispy Kreme doesn't get it's act togethor and stop settling for delivery to gas stations.

New look for the blog, I like it a little better. Reminds me of warm pea soup in the winter time. Also notice the links on the right.------>

I got nothin else and I am drawing a major head blank right now because the Yankee game is ruining my creative thoughts. I'll give her another spin on Friday I hope.

This post written while listening to Athlete "Tourist"

"Uhhhhh.....Should I come back another time?"

Part of the joys of being in a family business is the freedom and the comfortableness with just being you. I have all the sick days I need, dress as I choose, can be as late as I want, and take off when I want. Not that I do because you feel responsible, but it's nice to know it is there. Now I don't get paid much for it, but I make my money in the little stuff. I am a very rich man, its just not reflected in my checkbook. So that means I'll never get a girlfriend, but so what. I can live off the following stories that I share with you, constant reader:

Anyway, I had the uniforms for the team arrive today. I had to try them on because the sizes from effin JL are never the same ever. It's the most inconsistent company ever. The only reason I continue to use them is because they already have all the teams embroiderary designs so the set-up time and charges is less than switching to a new company. Plus, they love me so I felt obligated to stay.

BLAH BLAH BLAH......so I am trying a medium on to make sure its not too small and out of nowhere I hear a "uhhhhh.....should I come back another time?" Whoops!, someone caught me at my desk,.......with my shirt off.......again. No one ever comes into the office besides employees. However, I was ready with the witty response: "You could, but I'm not going to promise to have my shirt off then" Some people don't know how to take a joke. Oh well, one less customer is one less problem.

I saw the Doublemint commercial for their mints. It's a blatent copy of the Pizza Hut ad a few months ago that used the same premise of "Twins that are not twins at all". Like a Fat White guy and a little Latin woman and dressing them in the same clothes. The point of mentioning this is that I think mints are on the way out and have been for like 4 years now. Mints had a brief re-surfacing when Altoids hit big back in 1996, but mints are never as good as gum. Why would you buy mints when you could buy gum? I can't see where the market expansion in the mint department could expand.

Hi my name is S.Vincent, and I have a Man-Bag. One of the many hits I am willing to take to my masculinity in order to have all my stuff. I hate having stuff in my pockets, but I like to have my stuff at all times. ALL of it. Nothing annoys me more than needing something and not having it, and knowing that it is within my ability to have it. Anyway, I figure you would love to know all the things that I can not do without. It's a large list, but here it goes; Large nalgene bottle, Crew Folder, workout journal, legal pad for blog ideas and reminders, vitamin case, winter hat, sunglasses in a hard case, Old Spice Red Zone spray, 2 doses of allergy medicine, chap-stick, Orbit Gum (always), Compass (you won't believe how many times I have needed it) , mini-swiss army knife (for those extremely handy little scissors), 1 dollar in quarters, heart rate monitor, ancient cell phone, hand sanitizer(unscented), Ipod nano with 2 sets of headphones, 3 pens, digital camera, and my wallet.

Optional items that are often in my bag, but not neccesarily include: A peice of fresh fruit, a Cliff Bar, a T-Shirt, and of course, a second pair of sunglasses.

Wow, this blog is at an all time low. That was, like, the worst topic ever! I spent too much time creating it, so I won't erase it, but just pretend its not there and it never happened. I feel like David Letterman when he reads his top 10 lists these days. They are so awful he reads them quick just to get them over with, but he has to do it cause they've been doing it for 15 years and can't stop now. The fact is, the quality of those lists took a nose dive about 7 years ago. You can hear Dave seething as he reads them.

Why doesn't Wendy's serve breakfast? I bet they would do awesome at breakfast. Are they too trapped in the Late Show continuem of doing something stupid just because they feel they have to for traditions sake?

I hate myself for this blog, pretend you don't know me, we never talked

Written while Listening to: U2 "Under a Blood Red Sky"

If she were president, she'd be Baberham Lincoln

That was from Waynes World. Another movie on the list of "anytime, anywhere" movies. Now, the girlfriend in that movie was not quite up to snuff either. But, in the case that Wayne was an ugly loser anyway and would never score a hot girl to begin with, AND, she had an asian exotic rock star novelty to her, she was an appropriate artistic fit to the movie.

Speaking of asian exotic, the girl from Memoirs of a Geisha is the hottest Asain person I have ever seen. Micheal the Coxswain excluded. She was hottest in the movie "House of Flying Daggers" but hot in general, all the time. Her name is Ziyi Zhang, and I write her letters everyday, so back off, she's mine.

Is it just me, or are scary movies making a comeback? Not since the early 80's have I seen so many out in theatres. Plus, I don't know anyone who is watching them. The past year, the movie market has been flooded with them. Saws, rings, etc. Oh well, I could be scary monster too. I used to like the genre, I'm a Steven King nut, but ever since I started living alone and taking hallucinigetics, I have to steer away.

Why do they make flavored pet food? Do the pets say which one they prefer? I don't get that. Why don't they make pet food and thats that? I know dogs that eat poop, so they obviously don't know what the eff they are doing. Stop this stupid cherade to sell more pet food.

Why in gods name aren't coffee shops open earlier and later? If I owned a coffee shop, it would be open from 4:00 AM - 12pm and then 4:00PM to 12AM. They are in the business of peoples energy and they need it in the early AM and in the late PM. Why is this so hard to understand? I hate that I have to get gas station coffee at 5:30 AM because Starbucks and Kona/Cassablanca are not open.

Did you ever notice that you only really feel inclined to honk your horn at a bad driver when someone else is in the car with you? When I am alone, I am the calmest driver ever, but with someone else in the car I feel the need to protect my driving reputation with horn honking. I think a lot of people do this, along with picking their nose a lot when they are alone in the car.

Jack Black is hosting Nickelodeon awards shows now? how tragic.