The Labyrinth made me do it

This is an awesome photo of me and I will except no arguments otherwise. Since I like taking on challenges that border on the completely unimportant and possibly insane, as this picture demonstrates, I will take Mr. Bea up on his Meme challenge. I wonder if Meme stands for something? The origin of Meme, as I understand, is that of many fads on the web in which you pass something on to your friends and tell them they have to pass it on to their friends and then to their friends, etc. ad nauseum. My favorite demonstration of which was portrayed in the movie Wayne's World, involving hundreds of images of Wayne saying "and then they tell 2 friends" over and over. But I digress.....

The Rules of the Meme. (pronounced either maymay or meemee, I have no idea)

1)The rules of Meme get posted before the Meme. And yes, you are allowed to talk about Meme, unlike Fight Club, which I swear to God do not talk about, or Brad makes Angelina steal another baby from Asia.

2)The Meme blog post will consist of at least 8 random and most likely, but not neccessarily, previously unknown facts about the author of the blog. Anything goes, but I'm pretty sure this is how they found out that Madonna uses steroids, so be careful with illegal activity.

3)At the end of the Meme, you must list 8 other bloggers in which to carry on the task of performing their own Meme. You must comment on the other authors blogs to tell them they have been Meme'd and to see your blog for details.Thats right grandma, just like 1994 when e-mail chain letters were all the rage! Nothing says "I care very little about your happiness" like nailing your fellow blogger's and bloggette's with a chain letter. However, I have yet to see of any threats associated with meme'ing if you do not comply. i.e., your dad will go to prison and meet Nasty Nate, your dog will get tapeworms, you're body chemistry will change and you will stink like old fish no matter how much cologne/perfume you use. So since there are no consequences involved with not playing along, I'm gonna start the curse, and say that if you don't carry on the meme, Paris and Nicole Richie are going to come to your house and teach your relatives all the newest slang words that they will use forever and ever and ever. And if you have a sister, Lindsay Lohan is going to come to your house and teach her about "boys". Yeah, so don't eff around with the Meme.

"The Magic 8"

1) I remember very very little about my life before I was 18. I don't know why this is, I just don't really remember it. Don't remember the feelings, emotions, stories, friends, etc. There was nothing tragic or scary about it, and its not meant to be an offensive remark on that time and the people in it, but I think I was inside my own head all the time. I can only remember about 10 of my friends from high school, I don't remember any of the names of my teachers, and those stories from high school, I can't remember unless someone tells me the whole thing and then I can say "ohhhhh.....Right!" I remember the bulk basics, like the sports I played and the places I've been to, but the details are surprisingly very sparse. I'm not even going to get into how little educational info I retained. Remembering things outside of 1 year is a weakness of mine anyway, but especially during those years.

2) I am convinced I have one great physical characteristic and that is, my hands and feet. I have never seen anyone with more balanced and good looking extremities than me. I will challenge anyone to hand/foot off provided there is an impartial judge.

3) I have never broken or seriously injured anything in 15 years of continous sports seasons. I may have a couple of torn ligaments in my left shoulder, but it has never affected me doing anything. Swim team, soccer, baseball, handball, cycling, weight lifting, basketball, and rowing and I have never had to miss any of those thousands of practices due to injury. Take your vitamins, drink lots of water, and warm up and stretch before physical activity kiddies.

4) I really really dislike the phone and not just because I talk on one for most of the day. There is some sort of mental issue between me and the phone that goes deep into my psyche. The sound of a ringing phone is like nails on a blackboard to me, much less when it is my phone that is ringing. You can bet that if you call me, if I am there to answer it, 90% of the time I debate for about 3 to 4 rings whether or not to pick it up, even if I want to talk to that person. You can bet that I never want to talk to you on the phone, but I will soldier on in this wireless communication intensive world and do what needs to be done.

5) The most debalitating thing in my life is my extreme allergies to dogs and cats. This one genetic occurence has far and away caused me more problems than anything else I can think of. EVERYONE, has a dog or a cat in their house. I can't sleep over your house, I can't go to your party, I can't visit you, and I can't ride in your car. Basically the entire reason I am so indepently driven is because most other people literally "make me sick". Not some cute tissue/otc allergy pill commercial sick. My throat closes up, my asthma kicks in, my eyes water and my sinuses fill with mucus inside of 20 minutes. Like getting squeezed by a anaconda and maced at the same time. Genie pops out of a bottle, asks for the 3 wishes: changing this would be the first thing out of my mouth, no hesitation.

6) You will never catch me crying at a funeral, but I am a HUGE sucker for medals ceremonies that involve the national anthem. I can't watch them with other people cause I lose it almost every time.

7) I don't remember it, because I was very young, but my mom tells a story of how I once got lost at Sea World and screamed her name and wouldn't let anyone touch me till I was found. She taught me to do this. No, not safety tips for public spaces, just public humiliation. In large crowds, I often have the urge to scream things.

8) I am addicted to making up harsh nicknames for people at the gym. You can prevent this by basically staying out of my sight, but I am afraid that I can not prevent myself from doing it. Priority #1 at the gym is to get stronger, priority # 2 is to be a hater. One day, I will write a post revealing some of these nicknames and the stories behind them, but thats all the time we have for today.

I do not have 8 people to send this to because no one I know blogs besides The Bea, but I am hoping that my one send will inspire this person to blog if he is not already. And if you are reading this blog and you are blogging behind my back, you need to tell me! No closet bloggers allowed!

John Mullady, who is currently walking with Bea from Yankee Stadium to Fenway. No, seriously.

Can you hear me God? It's S.Vincent......

I am relatively young. No gray hairs, no wrinkles, no unsightly ear hair, my joints feel great, I remember the things I want to, I sleep for around 6 hours a night with no ill-effects, and the only pills I have to take are my multi-vitamin. That said, I could be wrong about sports being in its lowest ever state of morality, ethics, and trust-worthy-ness this week, but it is certainly the worst that I have ever witnessed.
.
This week: Barry Bonds is on the precipice of the all-time home-run record amid an un-breathable cloud of smoke surrounding his countless steroid allegations. Everyone he's ever come in contact with says either he's guilty, they can't reveal what they know under penalty of law, or "no comment". If anything helps Bonds, its the fact that hes been under this cloud for the past 3 years and as a society we've become blind to the fact the cloud is still there. Like Alaskans who walk outside in short sleeves in minus 10 degree weather.
.
An active NBA referee has been caught fixing games in order to get out of gambling debt he acquired while placing bets with his old high school friends who happen to be a part of a large organized crime syndicate aka "The Mob". No one knows how long he has been doing it, but the investigation has uncovered at least 1 year of activity. The referee has also been in a number of civil suits with his neighbor over violent activity displayed by said referee.
.
Micheal Vick has been suspended by the NFL till they can figure out if he violated the leagues code of ethics by being indicted by the government for aiding and abiding dog fighting on his property, and possibly having a direct hand in the practice himself. There are mountains of evidence against him, but the courts have to hash out which is true, un-true, and speculative. There is an excellent chance that he will be convicted barring some kind of Duke rape case evidence mistreatment that the feds are much more ethical about than the local/state prosecutors. In the past 12 months, that would be close to 40 players arrested for crimes. This is on the heels of Pacman Jones also being charged with involvement in an incident in which he started a fight at a strip club that involved gun play and left one employee paralyzed. With close to 2000 NFL players, this arrest rate is not anymore than the rate of the general population, but is astronomically high for their income bracket (more than 250,000 a year)
.
The Tour De France has been rocked by doping yet again. 4 riders have been thrown out for testing positive or suspicious activity involving performance enhancing drugs. Alexander Vinokourov, Micheal Rasmussen, Christian Moreni, and Patrick Sinkewitz. If they were major league baseball players, this would be the same as finding out Vlad Guerrero (Vinokourov), Roy Oswalt (Rasmussen), Hunter Pence (Moreni), and Alex Gordon (Sinkewitz) all got 2 year bans from baseball. Some of the riders cried under the weight of the pressure their sport is facing from all this cheating and bad publicity.
.
This tortured sport can't seem to get out of this rut that it has been stuck in since the late 70's. Cycling invented medical cheating to win races. Lance is very very lucky that he is not riding this tour. He may have been the "Teflon Don" of cycling a few years ago, but Rasmussen has had eerily the same exact circumstances happen to him, and now he is out of the Tour, and fired from his team despite being tested after every stage with no positive tests. My favorite play by play guy Paul Sherwin made what I thought was a really good point of saying that this could be cycling's finest hour instead of its darkest if they can finally get rid of this problem. Exposing cheaters, cleaning up the sport, setting firm, harsh, and logical rules.
.
Although it seems particularly awful to have all this controversy and moral crimes in one year of the race, it has been around for 100 years and has seen its fair share of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. But, "seemingly insurmountable" is the spirit of the Tour. Cycling is a sport that is rich with riders putting obstacles in front of them and climbing, sprinting, bridging, and attacking the peloton over them. The riders could lose all their sponsorships, the organisers could disband the race, the TV cameras can be shut off, and all the reporters can attend a different event but I know that there will be a handful of men who will agree to see who can get around the borders of France the fastest. These athletes don't need the tour, the tour needs these athletes. I may feel awful about it now, but as long as the banner "Vive le Tour" still flies on the roadside alongside athletes willing to believe the meaning of the banner is their responsibility, I think we can still feel good about sports, even......football.
.
Yes God, it's S.Vincent. Just wanted to let you know, I think we can, I think we can, I think we can.
.
This post was written while listening to: Spoon "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga"

Ridin' white-n-nerdy

I will now reveal more reasons as to why I am an even more of a loser than your standard internet blogger. (Ha, and you thought that being a Blogger was the basement of the "Loser Motel") I am going to tell you a story about my runners high that I got the other evening in candid detail.
.
Why would I do such a thing, you say? You already had such an incredibly small opinion of the 25 year old, single, unfourtunate looking, POS car driving, mustache wearing, Bear Grylls is my favorite show, man. There should only be reasons for him to attempt to increase his stature, not drive it further into the ground by revealing unfourtunate truths. One reason is that I have to hit rock bottom sometime. The other is that I haven't put up a post in a while, and mr quick part 4 still needs "tweaking"(that's a You've Got Mail reference, add possible sexual confusion to the list). The final is that I am going to be away this week so I figured I better feed "the beast" (constant readers) before it pees on my floor.
.
This is not a tale of blinding foot speed. I did not invoke the spirit of Mercury to burn the PoVegas asphalt with superhuman performance. I don't run often because I am not a "runner". I don't dislike it, but I have a rowing career that needs extensive work and thus takes up most of my training time. However, I like to move it move it and I can put togethor some decent times for someone who spends 2 nights a month on his feet instead of his ass. I enjoy the easy simplicity of it, I don't have to think about my catch, my lock on, my drive, or getting my body over. I just run and when I'm done, my legs hurt, I'm sweating, and my heart pumped some blood, so its always a good workout so long as I got from point A to point B sans injury.
.
This is a tale of coincidences. The happenstance of many things coming togethor for 4 mins of time. I had to run easier than usual because I have a big race coming up. All I wanted to do is work my heart and not tear down my legs, so I felt very strong and in control of my effort and hade enough oxygen going to my brain as to allow it to observe my surroundings. The weather was a perfect 80 degrees with medium humidity. "Only the Young" by Journey was on my iPod as I was near the very scenic Vassar College, deserted at this time of year. There was a young 4 point buck grazing the grass by the pond just as the red sun was setting and peeking through massive clumps of light gray clouds over the Adirondack Mountains . The buck stared at me and I met his eyes as I ran by. There was a one-ness with me and nature, and there was a one-ness with me and....me. It's flabergasting that a guy who spends all of his time working alone, rowing alone, and living alone would need more time with himself, but when you seek solitude as much as I do, you appreciate the few times you actually get them, much more. No man is an island, especially a man who spends as much time on the information super highway as I do, but for a 4 minutes it was just me, Steve Perry, the deer, and NOT the huge monkey of life on my back. I don't think I was taking any drugs, but I was near Vassar, so you never know what is in the air.
.
Now that this is out of the way, I can go back to playing Gears of War on my XBox, laughing at poop jokes, and not having a girlfriend. You know I'm not proud of it, but you also know you wish you could be so basic.
.
Gym Rule: Wow! its Back! Yipeeeee!!! Ha, I will try to come up with some more of these, but I think I over-extended myself last year and pretty much got it all down, but every once and a while I stumble on a particular occurence of bush league behavior. That said, there is no flailing allowed! Herking and jerking weights or yourself is distracting and foolish. I know that you are an intense dude/dudette and you need the others around you to see that you can deliver 110% and perhaps save babies from getting hit by cars, lift the universe, tackle a polar bear, or bend iron bars. But the truth is we all know you have no muscular coordination and are more concerned with percieved output than actual performance and fitness. Look around you, read a fitness magazine, or observe a real athlete and if they don't train like you; pretend for a second that you may have no clue as to what you are doing.
.
This post written while listening to: Interpol "Our Love to Admire"

I pull up to the front of your driveway, with magic soakin my spine.....

Can you read my mind?

I thought of a really funny joke to play on the morning of the fourth of July. Here's the dilly: you set off a large firework (M-80, cherry bomb, general tso's chicken fart) INSIDE the house. Can you imagine the reaction? Think about a large explosion inside a house when everyone is alseep. It'd be off da hook, yo

Of course, you have to handle such immature genius professionally, or it's not that funny. You should pull the gag inside a house with more than 2-3 people since a group dynamic is necessary for such hijinx. I find that people are much more accepting of sillyness when there is lots of people than when it is just you and one person. They take it personally if its just the 2 of you. To start, you will need some sort of container to house the firework such as a old paint can, an old cooking pot, or a bucket. Next, it will have to be early, but not too early, sometime in the window of 7am-830am, so as not to make people too annoyed with a loss of sleep. Then you have to get your voice warmed up for the post explosion announcement: "HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY EVERYBODY!!!". I see people falling out of beds, people screaming in fear, and running around in silly sleep garments, utter chaos. I'm giddy at the thought of doing this in 2008 so you better try to remember not to invite me to your house.

There is this young fat kid named Batman who sent me this video a long time ago. He is a little messed up in the head, and I am a whole lot messed up in the head, so we enjoy cinema like this. It's a patriotic video, so I figured I'll leave it up for the whole week. If you don't like it, you don't like America, and I'll kill you cause it says I can in the constitution....Punk!

HBO (one of my 3 favorite channels) has a new show called Flight of the Conchords that is really funny. I know that they have been out as a comedy act for quite a while, so spare me the smug "I knew about them before you did" garbage. I am just saying that the show is good, so if you like Flight of the Conchords or don't know anything about them, watch the show. It's available on the orgasmic ON-DEMAND feature and plays new episodes on Sunday nights I think.

"so how about them yankees?" is an easy way to request a stabbing from S.Vincent.

I will be following up on the Mr. Quick story soon. I have been a little helter skelter this whole week with all the prank planning, hot dog contest eating, and fantasy baseball managing duties, so keep your peepers checking back regularly.

This post written while listening to: Collective Soul "7even year Itch"