I don't wanna grow up, I'm a ToysRUs Kid

Sometimes I forget things. Okay, a lot of times I forget things. I forget to drink enough water, pay bills in a timely fashion, wear underwear, shower, call my parents, go to church, Q-Tip my ears, and most importantly; 95% of my childhood. I am modern man, I live in the now, not the then. And since I don't remember that I am supposed to act older, I will often times act like a child. I enjoy wrestling, being loud, wearing clothes that don't match, toys, and candy. Don't get me wrong, I can be an old man when I need to be, its just that when you don't have much responbilities, there is no reason to be responsible. Thus, I am often finding myself laughing louder than I should, being more inappropriate than I should, and entertaining myself with low-brow humor.

Is this pathetic, foolish, and atrocious? Sure it is. However, this lifestyle keeps me out of trouble more so than most of the other adults I know. I don't drink booze, I am always active, I read a lot of books and, don't have any STD's, watch a lot of baseball, take healthy naps, and always take my vitamins. I don't even know what cholesterol is, and the only page in the paper I care about is the cartoons/word jumble. Adulthood is not something that is measured with credits, money, and social contacts.

There is a difference between avoiding responsibility and not taking it. Avoiding means not doing what you have and are obliged to do. Not taking it is not putting yourself in a position to take responsibilities that you don't need to. I find many people take on responsibilities based on some sort of unwritten bible of society. (Imagine me making double finger bunnies as a say the following) You NEED to make a lot of money. You NEED to have a new car. You NEED to have a job that you can be proud of. You NEED to have a girlfriend/boyfriend. You NEED to attend social gatherings. You NEED to get an education.

Unfourtunatly, the only thing that you NEED to be is happy, and I see too many people sacrificing their happiness in order to attain one or all of those societal merit badges. Its very cliché to say "do what makes you happy", but I find that often people let clichés pass in through one ear and out the other. All of a sudden, they are doing all this work to attain things they don't even want, just so they can look their parents, friends, and co-workers in the eye. All the while; not watching the shows they want, doing the activities they want, wearing the clothes they want, and seeing the people they want. Your "need to do's" should satisfy the "want to do's" and if your "wants" are not being attained, then you don't "need" to do it. Being able to look yourself in the eye is a lot more satisfying then being able to look in someone elses eye.

Maybe you won't have a flashy car, a bank account full of money, a peice of wall debris from an institution, or a person who will pretend to care about you, but you'll smile bigger, laugh longer, and have a real reason to enjoy getting up in the morning and avoid going to sleep at night.

Then again, maybe I was wrong to think that happiness was absolutely necessary and I should organize my life around making the most money or a job I don't like instead and I just write stuff like this so I can feel comfortable in who I am......... Whatever......

This post written while listening to: Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero"