The day everyone sucked; one week later....

It's one week after valentines day and I'm still not over it. Total number of Valentines received: 0, total number of punches to genitals of flirtsy couples: 62. I know you're probably thinking "Oh here we go, another sob story from some loser who thinks no one loves him", and to that I have in response; "Why don't you date my dog feces, poindexter?" (cue polly taking a dump on your 2007 Air Jordans) The reason why Valentines Day sucks is cause it's a crock, not because I don't have some skank to spend money on and treat me as an inanimate object.

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I have had numerous discussion with some people classified under the male gender, few of which who still had their manhood due to a "relationship". I presented them with one question, "how was valentines day?". 100% of the subjects tested answered with "good/alright, I got (name of skank) a (insert some object between 70 -300 dollars) and we went out to dinner at (someplace better then mcdonalds, so 50 dollars worth of skank fuel)"..... I then presented them with this question; "oh cool, what did you get?" They then responded with "a card" or "nothing". This is why Valentines is a stinky pile of baby poop of a day, not because you are alone. I had a awesome Valentines Day, I stayed at home and watched "That Thing you Do" on one of my 15 movie channels I can afford cause I wasn't spending over a 100 bucks on my skank and getting nothing in return but irrational and illogical mouth garbage about how she feels either in a whiney voice or in some fruity Hallmark card. Bitter? no way, more like thankful of another year in which I dodged the bullet of "the modern female."

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It used to be that you could treat a woman like garbage and spend a bunch of money on her and we'd call it even. Hence the reason for holidays like Valentine's Day, Anniversary's, and Secretary's Day. Somewhere around the late 70's this stuff got turned against us and for some reason society decided that women deserved more; of all things. Now, they all walk around like K-Fed's with boobs, expecting stuff from men despite lack of talent, and then crying "foul play" whenever they don't get their way. Surprisingly, they got 90% of the knuckle-draggers out there being "yes dear's" to this whole fiasco. Well, thats super duper for them and all, but I'll step up to the plate when the umpire starts calling the balls and strikes and not the pitcher. Till then, I'll be at home.....watching Christian Slater movies, reading The Superficial and having a grand ol time.

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This is complete satire Mom, so no angry e-mails : ) ..........

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This post written while listening to: The Knife "Silent Shout"