My allergies are acting up

Before I get to the main topic, a quick multiple choice question. The answer will be at the end of the post.

Q: Concerning the garbage can on the street in front of my office, I have seen which of the following

A) a little brother of someone, stuck upside down

B) drugs stashed before cops make arrest

C) a dead cat

D) A homeless person retrieve a can, and drink the contents inside

E) All of the above


Now, there is never any excuse for a man to cry during a movie. NONE WHAT-SO-EVER! A man's superiority over a woman has not to do with his intelligence or his strength, for even those are somewhat fallable under the right circumstances. It has to do with our ability to mentally focus and stay cool under pressure. We have control over our emotions; women find getting socks to match their outfits distressing. We can not allow ourselves to get wrapped up in such girly things.

However, there may be some movies that may come close to trigger this response in a man, in which we will all agree to look the other way and chalk up the response under allergies. I find that a lot of these movies are ones that girls may not understand why a guy would have such allergies. Mostly the response comes on the realization of a great achievement in the film. A woman has never accomplished anything, so obviously they have no idea what the correct response for that emotion is. (snickering to self, deviously)

Here is the list of Manly "allergy" films, feel free to comment and submit your own films for consideration. You can never really have enough time to go over all the movies you've seen. I left out Braveheart, cause thats old to me now. Sorry, but I can't consider it anymore.

Rocky I and Rocky II: These are the only ones where it is okay. In the following 2 (there was no 5) the conclusions are to be expected and therefore you have plenty of time to man up and grasp the moment. In the first one, the "I love you" moment is great and maybe even stronger in number 2 where he says "I just got one thing to say to my wife and kid back home, Yo adrien, I did it" Wow, anybody got any benedril, my allergies are fierce during these movies.

Shawshank Redemption: The moment on this one tends to fade the more times I see it, at the end when Red is walking on the beach towards Andy. Thats a good movie right there, should have been a best picture if not for........

Forrest Gump: May be the best movie I have ever seen. Forrests grave side speech next to Jenny is the real clincher, but bubba dying was hard too, as well as when Forrest sees his son for the first time. I try to watch this as little as I can to keep the moments feeling fresh

Hoosiers: Along with Rocky, this may be the best sports movie ever made. The montage at the end with the "I love you guys" finish is classic. For some reason, I find a lot of people haven't seen this, but its a real sports fans and athletes movie.

Rudy: This movie tends to wear on me a little bit, but you can't fake a moment like when every member of the team threatens to quit if Rudy doesn't play or when he finally gets into Notre Dame reading his acceptance letter out loud by the river. Thats good acting on Astin's part, even if he can seem like a twerp at times.

Regarding Henry: Another movie a lot of people haven't seen. Its about man who changes after a horrible accident from a superficial jerk to an honest good person. This is a great film and I think Harrison fords finest acting performance, rent it. I don't have the space to talk about all the real world values and life lessons it teaches you.

Field of Dreams: "Hey dad, wanna play catch?" In fact, if you don't cry during that part, go see a doctor or therapist.

Memphis Belle: Singing Amazing grace while their plane is choking into the airfield and then finally touching down. A good guys movie. Girls will watch it for all the hot stars, but they don't understand the male bonding.

Million Dollar Baby: Damn you Morgan Freeman, did it to me again. Gotta love using Clint as a tough guy decoy. Hard movie to watch, and its harshness is almost too much, but a good film with a real life edge to it. Plus, I am a sucker for boxing.

Terminator 2: Just kidding



This Post written while listening to: Counting Crows "August and Everything After"


Answer to Multiple Choice: E

Post Pumpkin Day

I know, I know. Some of you think that yesterday was Thanksgiving. However, I have given up on that holiday. No one is ever thankful for anything anymore, and the patron saint of thanksgiving, St. Turkey, is overhyped and over used. I have turkey everyday of my life, why would I be excited about having it on another day? However, there is hope for the intelligent and elightened amoung us. Join me on a quest to change the past its prime "Thanksgiving", and turning it into a new fresh holiday with tremendous upside. Thats right, I'm talking about that underground fruit(its got seeds, so it is, ask your elementary school teacher) thats all the rage, the magnificent Pumpkin. It's a much more politically correct holiday with no animal abuse or sketchy history involving Native Americans and Puritans. Obviously the puppies are on board, so that means lots of hot chicks for all you guys out there (some of you girls too). Come on, I'm signing, you're signing, we're all signing. (got it....looks like o-needers)

I love pumpkins and this Pumpkin Day I celebrated in true fashion by having an assortment of pumpkin goodies. The list includes Pumpkin Spice coffee, Pumpkin Muffin, Pumpkin Donut, Pumpkin Milkshake, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Bars, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Soup, Pumpkin candy corn, and of course......Pumpkin Pie. I was on the lookout for some pumpkin ice cream cause I know that is out there too, but I couldn't find any in the supermarkets I looked for.

Pumpkin is also a really great nickname to show affection......"Hey Pumpkin!". Obviously, the pumpkin is a very emotional fruit to our society, and yet somehow, we never seem to fully exploit its powers, and I feel we need to make bigger deal of it than just a complementary item for the season. It should be the reason the season exists! Think of how devistated you would be wihtout the pumpkin this time of year.

Black Friday is called black friday because retailers typically move out of the red accounting figures(showing a loss in profits) and into the black figures (showing a profit) from Friday till the end of the season.

Jewel cases for cd's are stupid. They should be nice heavy duty cardboard sleeves like the used to have for records. I don't really understand why they exist. They take up way too much space and always break. They have to be more expensive than the cardboard option too. Now DVD's come in even bigger jewel cases. Stop the madness!

I ordered a dunk and donuts coffee light and sweet for the first time ever. I now have type 2 diabetes.

Polaroid photos scare me. They are like pictures from hell. The appear out of blackness and the pictures are always kinda sketchy and they never seem real. The colors are always kinda off and the focus is real fuzzy. I think they are snapshots through the devils eyes. I bet if you wait long enough goblins and demons appear.

I watched this documentary called "Thin" the other night about a hospital for eating disorders and the people who live and work there. The obvious plot of the documentary was the hopelessness of the patients situation and to give an inside look at the enormous task of overcoming an eating disorder. I'm not sure if this ever crossed the directors eye, but the thing that was most intriguing to me about the movie was the relationship between the obese nurses and the paper thin girls.Whats ironic about the film is that both groups are killing themselves with food related activities, but only one of the groups is in the hospital. Can you imagine what the obese nurses must look like to the patients? That would be like being treated for lung cancer by a doctor who walks in smoking, or for alcoholism by the local bar owner. The dynamic between them was uncanny. It was the most hopeless and unproductive use of money, time, hard work, and emotion I have ever seen.

Gym Rule: Speaking of food......If you put the Food Network on the TV while you are running on the treadmill, you better be a chef. Otherwise, I get to pull down your pants while you are running so you fall and get mill burn on your ass.

This post written while listening to: Clap your Hands Say Yeah (self titled album)

Return of the Mack!

Your friends were not lying to you. S.Vincent is back on the streets working the keyboard. I'm feeling a little rusty so you might have to give me a few posts to get back into the groove, but with a proper warm-up, stretching, and a dab of WD-40; I should slide back in like I never left. After all, me is me and I love me some me.

These past few months I've been plenty busy and truthfully I didn't want to subject you to lame posts. There is already one Alex Bea in cyber space and that's one too many. You can have faith that I still thought about you all while I was away and understand if you had to move on to bigger and bettter blogs.

There has been plenty to write about that I could rehash for you, such as Lance running the marathon, the yankees kicking me in the stomach....again, Krispy Kreme pumpkin spice donuts, Halloween in Poughkeepsie (we don't be needin no pumpkin!) and how awesome The Departed was.

None of these topics have been burning a hole in my fingertips quite like the P.Diddy ProActive commerical though. I have only seen it twice, so I'm afraid you may be out of luck to see it for yourself. However, the holidays are coming and nothing says Christmas quite like nerds begging their parents for overpriced acne meds. I wouldn't be surprised to see it re-surface. I couldn't even find the original on youtube, but I did find an interesting verison involving a intoxicated P.Diddy.

Anyway, the best part of the original verison is when P.Diddy proudly exclaims "It moisturizes my situation, and enhances my sexy" You gotta love that. I have spent everyday since proclaiming that objects from muffins to water to homeless people "moisturize my situation and enhance my sexy" When people ask what I am doing during the upcoming weekend? ......"enhancing my sexy". Frankly, when shouldn't you be "enhancing your sexy"? The answer:.....Never.

Gym Rule: Use your inside voice! If you are a chatty kathy in the gym who spends more time working your mouth instead of your muscle, keep it down. I know that you are super excited how many underage chicks you talked to, how drunk you were, how much she wants you, what kind of NOS system you have in your Mitsubishi, and how much mass you've gained in the past 3 months; but, do try to keep it between you and whatever unfourtunate slob you managed to trap. Some of us get distracted by our own thoughts about where you rank on the "biggest douche in a 50 mile radius" list whenever you talk, and we can't focus on our actual workouts. Unlike your 3 sets of bench press in 90 minutes workout.


This Post written while listening to: Beck "The Information"