Did NASA approve?

As predicted, Roger "The Rocket" Clemens is coming back to join the boys in the boogie down Bronx for the 2007 season and making somewhere around 9,000 dollars a pitch according to my C+ math abilities. (Thats for around 22 starts this year with around 100 pitches a start for 2,200 pitches divided into 19 million dollars = 8,700 bucks)

Being a Yankee fan, I could care less about what the players get paid. It's obvious that Steinbrenner has a US Mint approved printing press in his basement and can get whoever he wants to play for him. It makes me happy because if anything, it should make the players want to concentrate on winning baseball games rather than gripe about what they are getting paid. They should develop a more old school attitude with the yankee system. Who has to think about feeding their families on that team?

Thus, the dilemma with the Yankees is not player related. It's got something to do with the competitive spirit of the team and the way they approach winning and losing. There has been a subtle shift in the way business is being done in the Bronx, and its not something that you can see with the naked eye or in the box score in the morning paper.

Can the Rocket solve this issue? Maybe.... but probably not. The issue as I see it is that the team thinks too much about winning games, and not enough about making the other team lose. As much as players get paid, as extravegant as the locker rooms are, and as many coaches and health specialists as there are on the team; you still can't buy a "Fuck You" attitude.

I know we need the old school yankee meanness back in that clubhouse and Roger is probably too old to have enough of that rocket fuel left. Not in his arm, but in what used to be his crazy crazy mind. We need a Roger that guns people high and inside, throws bats shards at innocent batters, and swears at people. All the New York players used to be this way, and they need it back if they are going to win games. They need challengers, not winners. People who want to see the other team lose, as much as they want to see their own team win. People who talk trash, start fights, and call out people on the other team. People who believe they are better than other people, and aren't afraid to put their own pride on the line against other people, just like the people of the city they play for. I want people laughing at the failures of others and smirking at pitchers after getting home runs. The New York Yankees thrive on being hated and they need to start doing things to warrant that response. I'm sick of this whole "lets win games and act like professionals" mentality.

Maybe Joe Torre isn't the answer anymore, I really don't know. I'm not enough of an insider to know where this lax attitude is coming from but I like the Sports Guy theory that maybe Steinbrenner really is dead. Maybe there is no fear inside the locker rooms anymore. The media in NY is so over-powering that its almost too easy to shrug it off. If you can't shrug them off, you'll never make it in that city. I think the players don't have enough stress instead of too much stress. They are like soldiers having a laugh inside a bunker while bombs are going off all around them and dirt and blood falling all over them. They have seen too much to be stressed out by anything anymore.

I'm going to toast my water glass to the hope that Roger brings this attitude back, heres the hopefull return of the evil empire long since lost in 2003, and to the death of the Jedi "professional attitude".

This Post written while listening to: Michael Kay and Paul O'Neill

On driving, society, and of course; me

I have done a lot of thinking and pondering and considering on this particular subject. It's not as easy as it seems, particularly because if you go by my stats, I do not fit under that definition of a "good driver". Yet, I feel as though there should be some sort of a classification for my particular abilities.

But first, lets talk about what I see out there on the pathways we use to get from place to place that some people call; roads. I have created a term for this particular style of driving that really chaps my hide. I call it; "passive driving".

Chances are, that most passive drivers think that they are safe drivers and driving defensively. Unfourtunatly, they miss the concept of driving a car in the first place, which is; to get from point A to point B in a efficient and timely manner. They also fail to realize that there is a system of OTHER PEOPLE on the road who are trying to get from place to place as well. This is namely the difference between a passive driver and a defensive driver. There is a good chance that a passive driver is unaware of the needs of the vehicles around them. They perform acts such as slow down to a speed of about 10 mph to make a turn off a 55mph road. They don't make a right on red because they are scared. They stop at the beginning of a yellow light. They drive 25mph in anything other than pure sunshine. They drive the speed limit in the left hand lane. I often find myself screaming to the hula girl on my dashboard "Drive your effing car!!' It may seem a bit facetious and pointless because obviously if a person is in the drivers seat and moving in their car, then they are driving it. However, my anger comes from the mindset that I see these particular passive drivers are in. They are letting their cars drive them, rather than driving thier cars. The definition of driving is a multi facited definition, but its used as the verb in which to describe what we do with our cars for a reason. To drive means to "to send, expel, or otherwise cause to move by force or compulsion". These passive drivers are unfocused behind the wheel and not driving their cars.

Now, I understand that I may be giving off a vibe of a person who wants to justify driving like a maniac, but that is not the case. I also realize that I get tickets for things like pausing at stop signs, rather than stopping at them. Speeding 10mph over in a school zone, and one "failure to keep right" ticket that I will not discuss. BUT, I have never gotten the finger from a fellow motorist, a horn blown at me at a stop light, a frustrated stare from the car next to me, or the screech of tires behind me. The truth is, I'm just a guy who wants to see the traffic system work without selfish passive drivers screwing it up. I think people would be a lot less aggressive if they had nothing to be aggressive against. People drive aggressively to get out of the way of those who are driving meekly. I don't like aggressive drivers, but I understand their motivations. They are trying to get somewhere with some semblence of time but unfourtunatly do not consider the fellow driver either.

Unfourtunatly, I see no solution to this problem. Some people will always be scared of their own cars and their ability to drive them, and some people will always be overly aggressive against the clock and other people on the road, and there will be me, stuck in the middle and supremely awesome.

This post written while listening to: Sigur Ros "Agaetis Byrjun"

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a ToysRUs Kid

Sometimes I forget things. Okay, a lot of times I forget things. I forget to drink enough water, pay bills in a timely fashion, wear underwear, shower, call my parents, go to church, Q-Tip my ears, and most importantly; 95% of my childhood. I am modern man, I live in the now, not the then. And since I don't remember that I am supposed to act older, I will often times act like a child. I enjoy wrestling, being loud, wearing clothes that don't match, toys, and candy. Don't get me wrong, I can be an old man when I need to be, its just that when you don't have much responbilities, there is no reason to be responsible. Thus, I am often finding myself laughing louder than I should, being more inappropriate than I should, and entertaining myself with low-brow humor.

Is this pathetic, foolish, and atrocious? Sure it is. However, this lifestyle keeps me out of trouble more so than most of the other adults I know. I don't drink booze, I am always active, I read a lot of books and, don't have any STD's, watch a lot of baseball, take healthy naps, and always take my vitamins. I don't even know what cholesterol is, and the only page in the paper I care about is the cartoons/word jumble. Adulthood is not something that is measured with credits, money, and social contacts.

There is a difference between avoiding responsibility and not taking it. Avoiding means not doing what you have and are obliged to do. Not taking it is not putting yourself in a position to take responsibilities that you don't need to. I find many people take on responsibilities based on some sort of unwritten bible of society. (Imagine me making double finger bunnies as a say the following) You NEED to make a lot of money. You NEED to have a new car. You NEED to have a job that you can be proud of. You NEED to have a girlfriend/boyfriend. You NEED to attend social gatherings. You NEED to get an education.

Unfourtunatly, the only thing that you NEED to be is happy, and I see too many people sacrificing their happiness in order to attain one or all of those societal merit badges. Its very cliché to say "do what makes you happy", but I find that often people let clichés pass in through one ear and out the other. All of a sudden, they are doing all this work to attain things they don't even want, just so they can look their parents, friends, and co-workers in the eye. All the while; not watching the shows they want, doing the activities they want, wearing the clothes they want, and seeing the people they want. Your "need to do's" should satisfy the "want to do's" and if your "wants" are not being attained, then you don't "need" to do it. Being able to look yourself in the eye is a lot more satisfying then being able to look in someone elses eye.

Maybe you won't have a flashy car, a bank account full of money, a peice of wall debris from an institution, or a person who will pretend to care about you, but you'll smile bigger, laugh longer, and have a real reason to enjoy getting up in the morning and avoid going to sleep at night.

Then again, maybe I was wrong to think that happiness was absolutely necessary and I should organize my life around making the most money or a job I don't like instead and I just write stuff like this so I can feel comfortable in who I am......... Whatever......

This post written while listening to: Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero"

The day everyone sucked; one week later....

It's one week after valentines day and I'm still not over it. Total number of Valentines received: 0, total number of punches to genitals of flirtsy couples: 62. I know you're probably thinking "Oh here we go, another sob story from some loser who thinks no one loves him", and to that I have in response; "Why don't you date my dog feces, poindexter?" (cue polly taking a dump on your 2007 Air Jordans) The reason why Valentines Day sucks is cause it's a crock, not because I don't have some skank to spend money on and treat me as an inanimate object.

.

I have had numerous discussion with some people classified under the male gender, few of which who still had their manhood due to a "relationship". I presented them with one question, "how was valentines day?". 100% of the subjects tested answered with "good/alright, I got (name of skank) a (insert some object between 70 -300 dollars) and we went out to dinner at (someplace better then mcdonalds, so 50 dollars worth of skank fuel)"..... I then presented them with this question; "oh cool, what did you get?" They then responded with "a card" or "nothing". This is why Valentines is a stinky pile of baby poop of a day, not because you are alone. I had a awesome Valentines Day, I stayed at home and watched "That Thing you Do" on one of my 15 movie channels I can afford cause I wasn't spending over a 100 bucks on my skank and getting nothing in return but irrational and illogical mouth garbage about how she feels either in a whiney voice or in some fruity Hallmark card. Bitter? no way, more like thankful of another year in which I dodged the bullet of "the modern female."

.

It used to be that you could treat a woman like garbage and spend a bunch of money on her and we'd call it even. Hence the reason for holidays like Valentine's Day, Anniversary's, and Secretary's Day. Somewhere around the late 70's this stuff got turned against us and for some reason society decided that women deserved more; of all things. Now, they all walk around like K-Fed's with boobs, expecting stuff from men despite lack of talent, and then crying "foul play" whenever they don't get their way. Surprisingly, they got 90% of the knuckle-draggers out there being "yes dear's" to this whole fiasco. Well, thats super duper for them and all, but I'll step up to the plate when the umpire starts calling the balls and strikes and not the pitcher. Till then, I'll be at home.....watching Christian Slater movies, reading The Superficial and having a grand ol time.

.

This is complete satire Mom, so no angry e-mails : ) ..........

.

This post written while listening to: The Knife "Silent Shout"

Breaking News: I'm the father of Anna Nicoles Baby.

Tons of foul weather in the home town today. Which means the roads belong to S.Vincent and his reckless SUV. I refuse to let weather stand in my way of being a nuisence to everyone in the county, and from claiming my rights as the father of young Dannielynn. Anna and I had a romantic escapade involving a dozen creme-filled donuts and some injectable horse tranquilizers. I have numerous witnesses to support that Anna and I have a regular donut and horse tranquilizer habit, and when the two of us met, it was an explosive love affair. I think her mother and the dog were there too, but on horse tranqulizers and custard, I saw Grimace there too, so who knows. I am very sorry for her death but I want to make sure that young Danniholiwhassit is well provided for and with the natural father, which is me.

My favorite part of going to the gym (besides hotties, tanning, sneezing on people, and giving wedgies to old women) is to make up new nicknames for people that they will never know. Here are a few examples of names that I use with a straight face...... Senior D-bag, Muscle Mania, Muscle Mania sr., Punk Rock, The Alien, Puffer, Ball Girl, Muffin Top, Slut Cake, Nascar Bob, and Smoker Bob. I feel like a mother of a newborn baby everytime some freak shows up and becomes worthy of nickname. However, I do not enjoy these people.....with the exception of ball girl. Their nicknames are created because they drew attention to themselves through negative attention, and thus I dislike them. I give names to my pain and frustrations, and these are the names I give them.

How does a gas pump know when your tank is almost full? There must be some sort of simple technology at play since they've had this feature since 19 dickity 2, but I'll be damned if I can figure it out.

Some of you may be looking for the secret to my witful words and elegant writing style. Well I can tell you that it would not be possible if not for my fantastic keyboard with its soothing mechanical key-strokes that click like an old friendly type-writer. The soothing rythem allows my mind to wander to peaceful places that spread my imagination wide across the plains like smooth peanut butter on toast. If you enjoy using your computer and have the means, I highly suggest picking one up.

Its been a decade now, and I still need to know the motivation behind wearing your pants like this on a daily basis. Its not cool or comfortable or attractive. It is the picture of idiocy. Seriously, state your case.

If you need to know whether or not the Grammys is a respectable awards show, all you need to know is that the Dixie Chicks won the award for Album of the Year. In other news; I am giving the local toothless hooker with the face tattoo and 50 inch waist the award for Northeasts best looking person. Give me a primetime network slot and some validation in name only please. I know thats a real easy joke to make, ha ha the grammys are stupid haha, but it really makes me angry that country shit gets album of the year; and year after year something allows them to make a decision on musical talent despite a horrendous record of decision making. I support pollution of rivers more than I support decisions made by this "academy".

This Post written while listening to: Arcade Fire "Neon Bible"

I'm tired from smuggling raisens all week

I found this site while I was looking for some picture that could maybe capture the essence of the frozen hudson valley. Seriously dude? You made a plow for your bike and made a serious website about it? Your High school physics teacher just shot himself at the thought of you as a former student.
x

Feeling instantly cooler than that guy, I can now begin my own nerd ramblings in safety.

x

So its really cold in the northeast but it supposed to let up soon. I nearly died while I tried to pump some gas into my car which feels about as energetic as I do in this cold. Anyway, a tip for all you kids is that you should not put your lips on the end of the metal gas pump in sub 30 temps, your lips will stick right to it. Even if the gasoline does warm your belly. I only filled up my stomach and tank half way because I couldn't stand out in the cold a second longer. I'll fill up all the way once it gets above 35 again.

x

So I was watching a music video in between sets at the gym and unfourtunatly Ashlee Simpson is on. Suddenly, I was overcome with horror, and not just because shes got as much muscial talent as a homeless guys butt after eating soup kitchen beans. There was a scene in this video where Ashlee is working out with a personal trainer and lo and behold, we are wearing the same shirt. Led Zeppelin circa 1977 Tour shirt, one of my absolute faves. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die and write ashlee simpsons name in blood on the walls plus some profanities and maybe a picture of spongebob square pants. Anyway, I hoped no one else saw and rightfully moved myself up to the eliptical at an easy pace for 15 mins with a teen people magazine and my pink ipod with my destinys child workout mix. Apparently its where I belonged. A small essence of proof that I'm not shitting you, as if I could really make up a story like that anyway.

x

Another funny story about this shirt that happened before I saw Ashhole wearing it, was that it attracted the scary looking girl in the deli to me. She said "awesome shirt" to me while giving me double rock on signs. I was blown away, I could only come up with a single rock on symbol and a thanks in reply. Apparently, led zeppelin is big with the 5'9 and 92lb possible drug addict girls. Not sayin I would kick her out of bed for eating crackers, cause if she likes led zepp and knows what the shirt looks like from 50 yards away with a jacket over it, shes got something 99% of girls don't. I'm just not sure if they make anti-biotics for what else she might have.

x

New blogger of the week updated!

x

This Post Written while listening to: Ashlee Simpson

Hey M-effer! I'm walkin here!

Hittin the keyboards live from NYC today. It's like Bruce and the E-street band at the Garden only.....I'm way taller than he is.

I like going to the city just for a short amount of time. I go often enough so I don't feel like a complete tourist whenever I am here. More like, a well recepted guest.

I walked polly around this morning and we had to be quite the pair with her fluffy cuteness and my rugged not-ness. Dogs are everywhere in NYC these days, it seems like the population has tripled from when I was younger. Everyone has a dog and spends lots of money on it. Usually I use polly to trip people with the leash because she's oblivious to the common rules of society as am I, and to sneak small snacks away from strangers. Shes fat, so she doesn't need anymore treats. I however, need a little fuel to keep the angry-mean faces I make extra tight and scary.

Some things are necessary for whenever you make trips to the greatest city in the world. You MUST bring sunglasses; extra dark lenses, never take them off. This makes gawking much easier, just make sure you're not drooling too. Night time, at church, in the subway, in the movies, getting your teetch cleaned, etc. NEVER TAKE THEM OFF. No one respects you anyway, so you might as well carry the illusion of wonder.

Bring your most comfortable pair of shoes, even if they have holes in the toes or someone elses blood on the bottom. Certainly don't wear a new untested pair of shoes. Don't worry about being cool or fashionable in this department, you do not have a unique pair of shoes in NYC, everybody thinks that they do, but they don't. You will look very uncool sitting on a park bench by yourself because you can't get anywhere in your stylish edition of cheese graters that you wear on your feet that 6 people in your vicinity are wearing anyway, of which 3 are ugly homeless people. You can wear all of what you think are stylish clothes, but don't mess around with your footwear.

Come prepared for anything at anytime, bring a small bag with you. Just an example of what I have in my bag on thi trip. A hatchet, nitro glycerin, copy of the Koran, trou, an extra pair of socks, a swim cap, glitter, a trident, 40ft of 300lb-test steel cable, iodine tablets, weapons grade mace, paperclips, and headshots of Bea Arthur. If you have tons of money though, you don't need to bring too much, because you can find any of that stuff in a 4 block radius to purchase should you need it.

As much as I am an experienced city traveller, I can't help but keep my eye out for people I might know. I tend to get gas when I am surprised, so I have to see people I know before they see me, just a little quirk of mine. Micheal Assenza is everywhere in NYC, so I can almost expect to see him whenever I am down here. But, I think he might stalk me like he does all those small children from one parent broken households. He always has candy, so that's what I assume he does.

I'm sorry that this blog is not as cool as some of the others out there. I may be a nerd, but I am not a computer nerd. I read about all the new things you can do with the new version of blogger.com, but I am afraid it is beyond my nerd skills which apply mostly to just being plain ol socially awkward. Anyway, they sound really cool so if you can explain it to me slowly and with small pictures, then i might be able to understand it.

two fer.......wednesday?

Thats right, two posts in one day. It's more rare than a solar eclipse while winning the lottery on a nice day with a non-douche in NJ. For the record, thats 2, count em 2, NJ jokes today as well. Damn I'm ornery. Anyway, I am feeling a little spunky so I'll whittle myself a nice little post and hopefully sleep well in my cave with all my rat and spider friends.

I left the TV off tonight. Sometimes I wish I had the willpower to just get rid of the TV and read more books and actually do laundry on a consistent basis. Maybe, take up something cool like............custom making baseball mits for MLB players.

I like driving to loud rock and roll music. I feel like people don't talk about this very much because theres not much to say. Its fun and everybody likes it, but why is the experience greatly enhanced when you are doing the driving? I don't enjoy the music quite as much when I am a passenger or just sitting and doing some paperwork. What is it about holding the wheel that gives the song an extra 20% enjoyment level?

Get ready in Po-Vegas for the cold snap that is going to hit in the next couple of days. I kind of like the extreme temperatures just because I enjoy the experience of being in it. Only 2-4 times a year can I say "Wow, this is the coldest weather I have seen in a while", So long as I don't have to stay in it, of course. I'm not making any sense, but thats okay, all you need to know Is I look forward to the experience. I'm the same idiot who tastes things when people say "Wow, this is awful.....here, taste it"

My deoderant says "por hommes" on it, which is spanish for; "For Men". I wondered for the first time if this is where the american slang word "Homey's" came from. Then I remembered that Homey is short for Home-boy, which is slang for "A friend of mine from where I grew up". Just a little sprinkling of an entire 10 minute convo I had with myself in the shower in case you were unsure of what I think about on any given day. Over perceptive and analyzed idiocy mixed with asanine trivia is the best way to describe it.

The talent is long lasting, not everlasting

Sometimes coming up with material to write about is hard. Well actually, the problem is that coming up with the thoughts is not neccessarily hard, but designing a coherent way to convey it. I have thousands of thoughts every day and sometimes I record them, but that is not good enough to create an entire paragraph on. I find myself in a connundrum of running out of writing talent or maybe, running out of easy talent and it puts a nice little damper on my posting frequency.

However, any idiot knows that any effort is better than no effort at all, so just writing about my writing is the solution. Like the title says, "the talent is long lasting, not everlasting".

I never understood what people feared about Willy Wonka and the ol chocolate factory. I know the oompa loompas are creepy, and the river boat trip with the slide show of oompa loompa land is a little scary, but we live in a real world of many small orange people and places that are awful (two words: Lindsay Lohan and New Jersey) If you can't face your fears and persevere onward, you won't make it very far. You can't push the stop button on the VCR of Life.

One of my favorite treats of all time is a donut and coffee to dunk it in. Not just for the taste, which is fabulous, but for the fact that the coffee soaks the donut down so you can pound it in 1/4 of the time of a dry donut. That way not many people catch me in the fatness zone.

A few tips on how to shave like a champion.
1) stop using cheap shaving cream. We live in a world of wonderous variety and superior technology, stop buying the same thing as your dad does. The creamier the cream, the better. A good test is that your skin should feel lotioney after the razor drags across it. It should have a thick consistency and spread out thickly over the surface like icing on a cake. Personally, I use Aveeno Cream

2)less is better. The longer the hair, the softer the root is and it will shave smoother away. If you need to shave everyday, you should use electric. Don't wait too long though, otherwise the hair is too long and will clog and yank out instead of cut. Personally, its every 7 days for me.

3)sharpness is key. A blade gets 2 face shaves per use or one set of legs shaves. Use disposable razors, they are cheap and well designed these days. An expensive razor does nothing for you if you try to extend the life of the blades past its effectiveness because they cost a lot to replace. Personally I use Shick Slim Twins

4) Moisturization and Alcohol. A must after every shave. The alcohol insures proper hair regrowth by preventing infection and the moisturization keeps the skin soft and moisturizes the new skin layers so they surface properly. You don't need fantastic expensive lotion, but a good lotion used frequently. Personally I use Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion.

........No, YOU'RE A FAG!

The internet will never be perfect to me until I can easily find exactly what I want.

The internet will always be on my good side while I can still get access to things like this, this, and this.

The two best comedians I saw specials on last year were Jim Gaffigan and Louis CK.........not Dane Cook.

Alright, S.Vincent over and OUT!

This post written while listening to: Jimmy Eat World "Futures"

I'm not just ficial, I'm SUPER-ficial.

Americans; by their own nature, are super. So it comes naturally to those within the borders to be superficial. I've updated the blog links on the right side of the screen with a great site for our culture, thesuperficial.com. Sure it's shallow and pig-ish of us to create or enjoy such entertainment from the misery and lowpoints of our "celebrities." It may even be responsible for the decline of of our social values to all new lows. But, it wouldn't be very super or American of us if we didn't take ficial and super-size it. God Bless America.

(*ficial is not a word, so leave this witty theory out of your first date repetoire, unless you're dating someone who doesn't speak english ......Oh, and PS: Britney appears to be following the career path of Axel Rose all the way down to his looks)

Every once and a while when I am listening to the radio and the station is giving its local concert info, they will announce the performance of a cover band. Cover bands are one of the great mysteries to me in this day and age. First and most perplexing is; who goes to see cover bands? If you are a fan of the band that is being covered, doesn't a cover band make you feel like you bought tickets to watch high school kids perform one of your favorite movies in their back yard? Why not just go see the real band or, if they are a broken up band; preserve the memories correctly through the tapes? There is no reason to see a fake band. That's like going to an art gallery to see copies of the Mona Lisa. Second; how does a cover band get started? How can you, as a musician, be content with solely copying other people? I don't know anyone who starts with a dream of sounding just like someone else. Do you have no pride? The whole point of undertaking an art form is to have originality. Even when popular musicians undertake old works, they have their own songs first and add their own touch to old songs to give them new originality. A cover band is just trying to mimic as close as possible. So yeah, I don't get it. Throw me a comment, if you can plead a good case for cover bands.

Is it my imagination, or did there use to be scented garbage bags? Bags sprayed with a special odor containing scent that helped dampen garbage odors? If there was, why didn't it work? If there wasn't, why aren't there? Thats a pretty simple idea to improve an existing product. The problem with a small apartment is that it takes about .2 seconds to attain a garbage smell from a stinky garbage can. I guess its time for me to invest in a can with a lid on it. But, I still wish there were scented garbage bags, none-the-less.

How close are we from seeing one of the members of the "Fart in a Mitten" group attempting to seriously wear novelty sunglasses as real fashion items? I'm all for using styles from previous decades in a modern way but, the new 70's large sunglasses are getting a little out of control.

(Background: The "Fart in a Mitten" group is the name I call the Paris, Britney, Lindsay, Nicole, and Tara group of clones after the amusing video in which Paris was read a peice of hate-mail in which she was described as a fart in a mitten. An entertaining and strangely fitting description. It gets mean at the end, but hate mail isn't written by nice people.)

You know what would be cool? A place where you could get your dog groomed and yourself groomed at the same time. It might already even exist. I know my mom would go there, but I may just have inadvertantly insulted her. The name of the store could be "Turner and Hooch Hair Salon" Okay, that's awful, forget I said it.

Mexican Food is the new Chinease Food.

What is the history of the Dollar Store? Did it used to be a 50 cent store? Did you used to get more for a dollar in the store? Is there any correlation to the average income and crime rate of an area within 5 miles of the Dollar Store? Who created the Dollar Store? Will there come a time when inflation ruins the dollar store business and all you can buy there is 1 breath mint? Is it incredibly funny that someone found this at a dollar store, or is it just me?

This Post Written While Listening to: Dallas vs Seattle Playoff Game.