FIRST! (and a bunch of shout outs)

Before we kick off on a weekend of blog related activities that I never thought would have blog related activities, I'll start by linking a much stronger argument to my original suspicion of Twitter being a questionable web resource. Think of her as Thomas Jefferson, and me being Thomas Jefferson's gardener saying "Hey T Jay-izzle, you know what sucks? People on the other side of the ocean." Anyway, I have said in previous posts that I always kick things off before anyone knows they are popular (moustaches, fashion trends, "pun intended", facebook at Marist College, etc. etc.) and now I will take at least partial credit for the start of a Twitter revolution. Le Resistance!

But seriously, for a more educated argument, go see Your Ill-Fitting Overcoat. If you are really interested, check out her comments for peoples rebuttals or agreements. Beamer, makes a good rebuttal against twitter hate. So that makes him the British......imperialistic bastard that he is.

On to the weekend! Spent some time down in New York City with strong YFYB supporter The Grzy and his first lady R-diculous (which I just made up). We wandered about out in the cold, rode on some subways, made a tally on the total number of animal fur related hats (15 I think), and ate some prime steak, ate some awesome burgers, coat-teased the coat check people at dance clubs, chatted up cab drivers, ate the best pancakes ever, got lost for 5 minutes in the Village, and didn't do 90% of the stuff we had planned. But we had fun never the less.

At the steak house, we met up with a friend of R-diculous who is a fashion entrepreneur and start up blogger; Mint Julep, who just launched a portion of her store online. Of course being in the presence of my blogging greatness, she offered to pay for dinner if I plugged her site. Since I knew that association with my blog often causes stores to go bankrupt, I counter-offered to pay for her dinner, give her a metro card, and take care of her children in the future when she is forced to dance the Charleston in the subway for quarters.

After I ate a cow, we all went out on the town to a place Mint Julep knew. A swanky little basement club on Bleeker that had "Finding Nemo" playing on 10 HD flatscreens and bass-laden electronic music blasting. There should have been tons of overly attractive people there, but most were very normal. So I was a little lost in the observation of it all till I spotted a victim for "Shirt or Dress" . She had to be mine! Oh yes, she will be mine. I wasn't sure how I was going to snap the picture at this small party without being more creepy than I am usually comfortable with, but then a sparkler appeared. She was entranced like a moth to the flame and whammy, blog duties complete. Keep an eye out, hopefully she posts it.

That's 4 blog shout outs for you. I bought a new camera this weekend, so once I have something thats not my shoes to photograph, we can bring back more visual entertainment for you.

Miley Cyrus is a faker.

One of the benefits of having a blog read by a handful of peeps is that I can say things like that and not get a comment box full of hateful responses. I don't know how the more popular bloggers go to sleep at night with all those people saying all those mean things. But she lip synched on the "Bolt" Thanksgiving Float in the Macy's Parade. Go ahead Billy Ray, put up your dukes, I'll make you wish you still had a mullet to protect your neck from my fists of artistic justice.

I spent Thanksgiving down in NYC which started with me missing my train by about 3.5 steps after running a good 1/2 mile at a full sprint from my parking spot. Thanks for that city of PoVegas! Missing my train by that close has never happened to me before and its the only time I've ever wished that it was 1894. If it was, I could have just hopped on the caboose! Plus, I could use the word caboose and no one would give me that head tilted stare which conveys "you're a little old for laughing at slang terms for the word 'butt'".

The subways were packed despite a terrorist threat that they would be attacked. Everyone pretty much decided that chemical warfare would be much better to die from than a $2.50 initial fee then $2.00 a mile cab charge. I also happened to be trying to make my way to a gym downtown when the parade let out near by. From a a distance the entrance to the subway looked like meat being fed into a sausage grinder with all the people pressing themselves down the tube. I had a metro card already so I gingerly passed by the tourists. The fun thing about tourists in the subway is how scared they are of it and of "THE YELLOW TILES". This is a 3 foot section of yellow rubberized matting near the end of the platform that ensures proper footing getting on and off the train. However, if you are a tourist it means that you will be decapitated, electrocuted or perhaps sodomized if you step on it. At least, thats the way every tourist acts when they see it. I use it to cut in front of idiots and get a spot on the train.

The gym was empty, dark, and perfect. No douchebags, no girls, no cardio theatre, and no useless machines. There was, however, plenty of loud techno music. Which I can handle in a workout setting because at least its the same over and over. No Jim Croce or Jonas Brothers or Beyonce while I'm trying to focus on not dislocating my hip joints underneath a squat bar. The day rate was 20 dollars, which was very pricey, but at least I had an excellent workout and didn't get any hair gel residue on my...anything.

I have a love/hate relationship with holidays. I like them because they are fun and easy, but I hate them because they throw such a monkey wrench into my daily "lets stay in shape, perform well athletically, and not get fat" pursuit. Over the course of 3 days, I got 3 workouts in where as I usually get 6. Add to the fact that I ate more than I usually do, and now all you have is a stressed out mindset where you feel like you climbed up 50 feet of rope only to slide back down 25. Plus, now I got rope burn on my hands making it more difficult to climb up again. Was the slide down exhilirating and fun even though it burned a little? sure it was, but all I can think about is how much more rope I have to climb. This endless rope that goes into a cloud I can't see through, but know that I need be.

SV-TV: The videos from this "Purple" album are what drew me to STP. I miss the randomness of the grunge rock era. They were so amatuer and original. I think bands should go find the big youtube artists and hire them to come up with their videos. They seem to be the only authentic video artists left.

Did NASA approve?

As predicted, Roger "The Rocket" Clemens is coming back to join the boys in the boogie down Bronx for the 2007 season and making somewhere around 9,000 dollars a pitch according to my C+ math abilities. (Thats for around 22 starts this year with around 100 pitches a start for 2,200 pitches divided into 19 million dollars = 8,700 bucks)

Being a Yankee fan, I could care less about what the players get paid. It's obvious that Steinbrenner has a US Mint approved printing press in his basement and can get whoever he wants to play for him. It makes me happy because if anything, it should make the players want to concentrate on winning baseball games rather than gripe about what they are getting paid. They should develop a more old school attitude with the yankee system. Who has to think about feeding their families on that team?

Thus, the dilemma with the Yankees is not player related. It's got something to do with the competitive spirit of the team and the way they approach winning and losing. There has been a subtle shift in the way business is being done in the Bronx, and its not something that you can see with the naked eye or in the box score in the morning paper.

Can the Rocket solve this issue? Maybe.... but probably not. The issue as I see it is that the team thinks too much about winning games, and not enough about making the other team lose. As much as players get paid, as extravegant as the locker rooms are, and as many coaches and health specialists as there are on the team; you still can't buy a "Fuck You" attitude.

I know we need the old school yankee meanness back in that clubhouse and Roger is probably too old to have enough of that rocket fuel left. Not in his arm, but in what used to be his crazy crazy mind. We need a Roger that guns people high and inside, throws bats shards at innocent batters, and swears at people. All the New York players used to be this way, and they need it back if they are going to win games. They need challengers, not winners. People who want to see the other team lose, as much as they want to see their own team win. People who talk trash, start fights, and call out people on the other team. People who believe they are better than other people, and aren't afraid to put their own pride on the line against other people, just like the people of the city they play for. I want people laughing at the failures of others and smirking at pitchers after getting home runs. The New York Yankees thrive on being hated and they need to start doing things to warrant that response. I'm sick of this whole "lets win games and act like professionals" mentality.

Maybe Joe Torre isn't the answer anymore, I really don't know. I'm not enough of an insider to know where this lax attitude is coming from but I like the Sports Guy theory that maybe Steinbrenner really is dead. Maybe there is no fear inside the locker rooms anymore. The media in NY is so over-powering that its almost too easy to shrug it off. If you can't shrug them off, you'll never make it in that city. I think the players don't have enough stress instead of too much stress. They are like soldiers having a laugh inside a bunker while bombs are going off all around them and dirt and blood falling all over them. They have seen too much to be stressed out by anything anymore.

I'm going to toast my water glass to the hope that Roger brings this attitude back, heres the hopefull return of the evil empire long since lost in 2003, and to the death of the Jedi "professional attitude".

This Post written while listening to: Michael Kay and Paul O'Neill

Hey M-effer! I'm walkin here!

Hittin the keyboards live from NYC today. It's like Bruce and the E-street band at the Garden only.....I'm way taller than he is.

I like going to the city just for a short amount of time. I go often enough so I don't feel like a complete tourist whenever I am here. More like, a well recepted guest.

I walked polly around this morning and we had to be quite the pair with her fluffy cuteness and my rugged not-ness. Dogs are everywhere in NYC these days, it seems like the population has tripled from when I was younger. Everyone has a dog and spends lots of money on it. Usually I use polly to trip people with the leash because she's oblivious to the common rules of society as am I, and to sneak small snacks away from strangers. Shes fat, so she doesn't need anymore treats. I however, need a little fuel to keep the angry-mean faces I make extra tight and scary.

Some things are necessary for whenever you make trips to the greatest city in the world. You MUST bring sunglasses; extra dark lenses, never take them off. This makes gawking much easier, just make sure you're not drooling too. Night time, at church, in the subway, in the movies, getting your teetch cleaned, etc. NEVER TAKE THEM OFF. No one respects you anyway, so you might as well carry the illusion of wonder.

Bring your most comfortable pair of shoes, even if they have holes in the toes or someone elses blood on the bottom. Certainly don't wear a new untested pair of shoes. Don't worry about being cool or fashionable in this department, you do not have a unique pair of shoes in NYC, everybody thinks that they do, but they don't. You will look very uncool sitting on a park bench by yourself because you can't get anywhere in your stylish edition of cheese graters that you wear on your feet that 6 people in your vicinity are wearing anyway, of which 3 are ugly homeless people. You can wear all of what you think are stylish clothes, but don't mess around with your footwear.

Come prepared for anything at anytime, bring a small bag with you. Just an example of what I have in my bag on thi trip. A hatchet, nitro glycerin, copy of the Koran, trou, an extra pair of socks, a swim cap, glitter, a trident, 40ft of 300lb-test steel cable, iodine tablets, weapons grade mace, paperclips, and headshots of Bea Arthur. If you have tons of money though, you don't need to bring too much, because you can find any of that stuff in a 4 block radius to purchase should you need it.

As much as I am an experienced city traveller, I can't help but keep my eye out for people I might know. I tend to get gas when I am surprised, so I have to see people I know before they see me, just a little quirk of mine. Micheal Assenza is everywhere in NYC, so I can almost expect to see him whenever I am down here. But, I think he might stalk me like he does all those small children from one parent broken households. He always has candy, so that's what I assume he does.

I'm sorry that this blog is not as cool as some of the others out there. I may be a nerd, but I am not a computer nerd. I read about all the new things you can do with the new version of blogger.com, but I am afraid it is beyond my nerd skills which apply mostly to just being plain ol socially awkward. Anyway, they sound really cool so if you can explain it to me slowly and with small pictures, then i might be able to understand it.