because you had a bad (hair) day

didn't think guys had bad hair days? Didn't think that if a guy did have a bad hair day, he would care? Well my friend, you have never met yours truly.

My hair and I should be in counseling.......well actually, the fact that I suggested that hair could be in counseling suggest that I should definitely be in counseling, and my hair is but an innocent by-stander made of nothing but dead protein or whatever it is that hair is made of.

I have shaved it all off, had my mom cut it, cut it myself, had a random friend of my fathers cut it, waxed it, gelled it, pomeaded it, dyed it pink (seriously), bleached it blonde, grown it into a pony-tail, and even had a fun night with a faux hawk.

Due to all this chaos and tragedy, my hair has some life experience. If my hair could talk, it would say "listen bro/bro-sita......I have seen some shit"

Aside from my ghastly face, my hair is my number one insecurity. If I have to go somewhere nice with people, my butthole will tighten right up when it comes time to "do my hair". Not what I am going to wear, not what shoes go with what, not my cologne choice or which pair of sunglasses. It's all hair, all day.

What's my deal? Well, I wish I could explain it better (Blogger FAIL) but as you can see, I can't seem to feel comfortable with any one thing. The problem with all this boloney is I need my hair to be at least be a stream of pee in the blaze of fire that is this hideous visage. Maybe if it was cool to walk around with a phantom of the opera mask I could worry less about my hair.......but I don't have a good enough singing voice, so my face is out there in the open and worry I must. Either that, or just board up my front door and discard all 3 of my friends. So what happens? Well I stand in front of the mirror till I can't stand to think or try anything else and just submit the public to my latest dog and poney show (what is that anyway?)

Bad hair + ugly face = Ashlee Simpson

Anyway, my routine for the past 2 years or so has been to just throw a little after-shower conditioner in there and let it fly. It's thinning out in my advance years and without a little substance to keep it together, my hair would look like one of those dust balls from the laundry room with the rogue hairs wrapped around it.

So todays dog and poney show is that I accidentally added a little too much conditioner and now I look like a less attractive version of this. Which, if you know your history, actually makes me THIS