wireless internet is ruining my trip

Wireless internet is a good thing. A good thing if you have a laptop computer and the conviction to carry one. Unfourtunatly, I have neither due to the imbalance of my mooching desires compared to my independence desires. That said, I am typing on what I think is an Apple IIe complete with a 5 x 9 floppy disk drive and green and black screen.

A hotel no longer needs to have a good lounge computer when they offer free wireless, which just about all of them do these days. One of the unforseen consequences of this services.....for moochers.

So I'm going to hand write a few posts and put them up once I get home cause I can't work with this thing. But a quicktrip update is that it has rained steadily and been in the mid 40's both days that I have been in south carolina. It snowed while we were in Virginia, and I may have drooled on myself after eating a chocolate protein bar, and that drool may have looked like poop. Of course to battle this weather, I have a hooded sweatshirt.......and that's it. So my disposition has been anything but sunny. I could tell you some of the scary things that have been going on beneath my undergarments that are reachig unprecidented levels of intrigue and surprise due to the levels of coldness and water saturation, but this is a family blog.

Keep checking the twitter for random useless updates till I get back. Me and little S.Vincent miss you PoVegas :)

A gorilla with a microphone in its mouth......

I know I have been a bit sloppy in my posting habits as of late, but I am over some of the small humps (lovely lady lumps) that have gotten in my way. Now we are back with a bizz-ang....

Our good buddy Rob Dyrdek is back with an awesome new show on MTV called "Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory". I can't say how happy it makes me and how happy his receptionist Chanel could make me with just 15 minutes of her time.

Quarter Year Album Analysis.....I figure we can talk about some new music every quarter. That way your whack-ass can be updated on the freshness and tight with all the big money beezo's.

I will be going on an extended trip for the next 10 days or so, but I plan on posting on the goings on with plenty of pictures if I can wrassle myself a computer. I'll also be twittering as much as I can so get wise and follow me already!

Wait.....do they have computers and electricity south of the Mason-Dixon yet?......shit

like a foreign pizza delivery guy......

You're looking for me and waiting for me, but I am no where to be found.

You call me, and I tell you "5 more minutes".

30 minutes go by, you call again, and I say "5 more minutes"

You were just craving some pizza when you ordered, but now you are like Tom Hanks towards the end of "Castaway".

You're considering calling another pizza place, but you know karma is not your friend and as soon as you hang up the phone from ordering said pizza, there I will be, in my 84' rusted grey civic looking frazzled.

So you wait, and you call again, and I say.....

"I no pizza for you?"

Goonies never say "Die"

First, I will acknowledge that it is uncool to blog about blogging. I have made an effort to stop that and although this is post is somewhat related to that bad habit, I think that the bad habit is blogging about your blogging instead of the act of blogging as a whole.

You lose audience members with self involved drivel. I believe this to be very true reading others crap and thusly have strived to remove it from my own blog, but it's hard to stay away when you are low on ideas.

The 20SB community helps with this issue, so long as you want to join in on their activities, they provide a wide variety of topics to take up internet space. However, their ideas frequently border on my perception of self in this crazy internet world. Not mixing words, the ideas are blog-writer centric, meaning people who enjoy being creative and outward and to some effect, shameless. People, who as a whole, look at all the oppertunities the internet can provide and they jump in with both feet. I respect their cunning, but I am decidedly more careful about how I jump in, what shoes I am wearing, and whether its being video taped or not.

I think that we are kind of like Goonies. Just a couple of people who don't mind taking something too far. Comfortable in their own skin and doing things that are important to them even if it isn't important to anyone else. My place in this movie is like Andy, the girl struggling between her need to be popular and her intrigue with Brand and his younger brothers co-horts. Disgusted with popular society, but not quite ready to dive in Goonie lifestyle.

This is because I have not fully removed myself from the "too cool for school" lifestyle. I look at many internet activity's as borderline "loser" "nerd" "creep". Not so much in how other bloggers do them, but that if I participated I would lack the skill to make it definitively not those things. I am not "arty" "expressive" or "unique" in a acceptable outward style. I wear jeans and t-shirts and drive a common model sedan with a 10 dollar haircut. It's like old people at young persons music concerts. Some old people can pull it off with style and grace, and some people are "who brought their Dad to the concert?". If I did these things, I would just ruin it for you and that would make me un-happy.

So I'll give you 20 bucks and I'll drop you off at the door. You can call me when you need to get picked up.

Recently, there was an oppertunity to Video Log (vlog) for a day under the topic of "Things you love". I was tempted, but ulitimately did not participate for those reasons mostly involving social fear. But if you want to know what I would have talked about if I did a Vlog, it would have been my iTunes/iPod. Which would be A)obvious and B) a little boring with a lack of visual aids.

I couldn't stand work without it and I just love the whole organization and layout of it all. I like collecting songs and albums and knowing how many times I have listened to certain things, and the album artwork too. I love making playlists and I like the radio stations and the podcasts and of course the iTunes store! Its like a big scrapbook that plays music!

So there you go internet fans, maybe in the future we can get S.Vincent over his fears, but for now he'll be standing near the concession stand trying not be noticed.

we are so smart. S-M-R-T

Conversation takes place on the 20 minute drive to the gym.....

Fit Cop: "What the hell is that thing on his antenna"

S.Vincent: "I think it's like a happy face or something. You know, one of those lame antenna decorations"

Fit Cop: "No I know that, I was hoping you could see exactly what it was"

S.Vincent: "Jeez, I don't have super vision, it's like a mile away"

Fit Cop: "Well I dunno, I thought maybe you could"

Fit Cop: "Dammit! I am gonna run into this guy trying to find out what it is. It's driving me crazy"

S.Vincent: "I think it's a Sun. Like a little version of the Sun"

Fit Cop: "No it's not"

S.Vincent: "Well I have no idea, it could be anything"

Fit Cop: "Ummm, I think it's one of those Science Ball things, you know?"

silence.............S.Vincent processing Fit Cop language

S.Vincent: "Yeah, you mean an Atom?"

Fit Cop:(very excited) "YEAH!"

Fit Cop and S.Vincent laugh to the state of tears for the next 5 minutes

stampede!!

Last week was a wash for me. Nothing got done despite some of my valient efforts in the face of sickness. I ended up retreating to my bed and trying not to think about anything except healing my diseased body. No music, no tv, no food, no light. All of these stimulations could only impede my progress back to superior health.

7 days later and I am about 80% of the way there. The doctor provided little insight into what could knock a 27 year old super human to the turf for such a long period of time, but he did provide me with a prescription for Amoxicillian in 875mg tabs. Which is what doctors do these days. Why am I telling you the dosage? Because an 875mg tab is roughly the size of a peice of Bubbalicious.....for me to swallow. Fast forward to around 3am and I am tossing and turning up a storm before I remembered my youth and how hyper and restless Amoxicillian used to make me. You forget a lot in 20 years. All I needed was some detergent and water in bed with me, and I could have washed my sheets for all my "agitator" impersonation efforts.

In the midst of my sick week, I was positioned on a couch, staring off into space, contemplating if it was worth breathing air anymore when a young child asked me a simple question.....

"Is Rage Against the Machine one of the greatest bands of the 90's?"

My head exploded. All I could give him was the simplest form of an answer. An answer in which I am sure he was unaware of the computer overload on my diseased and over heated brain. It just spit out.....

"No, they can't be"

He said more things, but I just waved my hand in a shoo-fly fashion so I could get back to more serious endeavors like not dying and assigning blame elsewhere for my troubles. But the question still needs a proper answer and then follow up information to support the cause.

The reason why they aren't: Not because I do not like them (because I really really do) and not because of a lack of musical talent (because they are easily one of the most talented hard rock groups all time). Its because they didn't sell enough records or get enough main stream play. They would be in a top 20 discussion, but not the top 10.

When you are discussing "Greatest", you must include how well the stupid stupid public and the critics see them. I know, I don't agree either, but those are the rules because everyone has to agree that they are great in order to get the label. Now if you want to include great to you, then thats a different list. That's a "My favorites" list.

So since we are here, the greatest bands of the 1990's (in my order cause I can do that). The criteria includes first or first acclaimed album released 1990-1999. Critical success at award shows, critical success by music reviewers, album sales, longevity, and consistency.

1) Radiohead
2)Pearl Jam
3)Nirvana
4)Beck
5)Pavement
6)Oasis
7)Dave Matthews Band
8)Green Day
9)Smashing Pumpkins
10)Weezer

*foo fighters, third eye blind, rage against the machine, Massive Attack, Nine Inch Nails, Built to Spill, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, and Tool is probably 10-20

This story is due to the fact that I got run over by the internet while I was away. There isn't much hope for me to catch up. I tried for about an hour today, but you bloggers need to slow the fuck down!

The comment box is where you complain or challenge my music knowledge superiority. I don't want to hear any U2, Chili peppers, Beastie boys, and REM talk people, they are from the 1980's

requiem for an S.Vincent

It's starting to look like a drug rehab movie around the old dugout. Sheets everywhere, blood and puss filled tissues, dirty dishes, flickering lights, hallucinations, sweating, wild looks at one self in the mirror, and coughing and screaming into the night begging with the gods for it to stop.

So all hope is obviously lost, but I have comforted myself in this dark thought.....

I think it would be the coolest thing EVER to die on friday the 13th or on valentines day.

call the whaaaaaa-mbulence

today, I am sick.

I am so sick that I am not even reading any blogs. If you have a podcast blog, I would consider it, but definitly not reading anything I don't have to. Sorry friends, maybe tomorrow.

being sick is my number one enemy because I am shallow and I can call it a awesome day so long as I get 2 good workouts in. Everyone and everything else can go straight to hell in a martha stewart basket. But when I am sick, my life has no purpose besides going through the motions.

The good news is no nasal or sore throat symptoms and only a light fever. But my chest has got a nasty dry cough and my body feels like I went 10 rounds with sarah mclauchlin on steroids.

Speaking of steroids/illegal performance enhancers......when is someone going to bust Madonna? I am sick of all the obvious guys getting brought out there like Stallone, Arnold, Bonds, A-Rod, Canseco and no one is addressing this obvious juice head. You think a 51 year old woman can work out enough to look like that without help? Have you ever seen any 50 year old menopausal woman at your gym who looked like that? Puhhhleasssseee. Plus. she's linked to Jose Canseco and a bunch of other juicers from the early 90's. I would bet all the 900 dollars in my bank account that she would blow up a drug test quicker than a Jamal Anderson heart beat.
.

Madonna Now

,

Madonna Then:

More Human than You man.

If you are Sarah McLachlan, don't read this post. Actually if you are Sarah McLachlan, call me and we'll talk about it and then I can blog about my phone call with Sarah.

I hate animals. I read Fuck You, Penguin everyday and laugh my sick little heiney off.

Now don't get all bent out of shape. I don't run around abusing dogs or kicking cats or make squirrels target practice for my slingshot. I would never harm an animal unless it's for food or self defense. So this isn't some "lets kill and mistreat animals" post. It's a "lets back off on how cool pets are" post.

The main reason for such an aggressive stance? I am allergic to them.......All of them. Every single breathing land creature besides a fellow human (but still stay away from me) shuts down my airways with severe asthma, causes non-stop sneezing, and painful itchy and watering eyes. This is not a cute little flower pollen allergy or hay fever. This looks and feels like the monkey disease from Outbreak. A prescribed super dose of anti-histamine, means instead of 5 minutes of reaction time to animal dander, it gets pushed to about 30 minutes of time.

Does that mean that one single person cares about my plight? Of course not. They only care about their own needs to have the mastery over a creature who's lifespan is shorter than a Twinkee. Someone to ACT excited when they come home. They think allergies are not THAT bad. Oh really? I may not hurt your cat, but I don't have a problem giving you a punch to the ribs and euthanizing your old ass at the vet.

Where's the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to S.Vincent? Where's my tear jerking montage? Where's the photos of me looking pitiful and helpless? Where's my self righteous rent-a-cop to come pull me out of a dangerous home?

This whole tirade was started by last weeks "Stuff you Should Know": How hypoallergenic cats work. Basically, there are a bunch of scientist messing around with cat genes and breeding to create a cat that doesn't secrete the fluid that causes an allergic reaction. They figured it out and they cost about 4 thousand dollars and isn't guaranteed to work. It's not exactly surprising news in a society where we tinker with just about everything. The surprising thing was that ONE THIRD of cat owners are allergic to cats......

WHAT!?! Read that ish again and tell me you are not flabbergasted. I have had enough with the whole love my pets charade.

I find it absolutely RIDICULOUS that people would put up with their allergies or take unnecessary allergy medicine for a flea bag cat. A piece of fur that rubs on your legs, shits in the corner of your house, makes your house stink, and throws hair all over the place.

In a world where we all have trouble feeding, walking, cleaning, and entertaining ourselves and possibly other human beings. WHY are we wasting our time with animals that make 33 percent of us sick? Cats are not cool. Animals are not cool. This is why we built houses and fences, people!
Fucking EVOLVE already! We invented the wheel and the gun and shoes and pizza. We're better than this! Stop being friends with animals because A) They don't love you, they love your food. Think I am wrong? Put yourself in a car with the door open, and then put a bowl of food 50 yards away from you. Put your hungry dog/cat on the 25 yard line and see where it goes. B) You're making me hate you and a snarling dog or a hissing cat has nothing on 170lbs of S.Vincent fury.

Plus I can climb your fuckin fence

......it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

A visual blog of sorts today. I am super busy with work to do, but I wouldn't leave all you bottom feeders with no scum to suck.

Since it is Groundhog Day, we must acknowledge one of the greatest movies of the 20th century. When it came out in the mid 90's, I was just a young chap making my way in the world. The concept of the movie is why I liked it at first. Day after day of the same day with no consequences? Awesome. Learning awesome chainsaw ice art? Check.

But now that I am older with a lot more life experience and a seasoned appreciation of dialogue, I realize that this movie is much more than just a cool concept. Its a touching view on so many aspects of our daily lives that we don't realize are happening because the days come and go so fast. Plus Bill Murray is the M-A-N.

This is one of many of my favorite parts. If you were to capture me in front of camera in a social gathering or ceremony, you could bet a million dollars I would say something exactly like this.



Wandering around PoVegas, I managed to find this place of business. Ye should not be fooled, our specialty foods are not to be underestimated. Thusly, we proclaim our superiority for all passers-by to witness.